AUGUST 11, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Cantitoe Triumphs at AYC Regatta. Impact: Cantitoe's victory inspired a whole new line of yacht designs that eventually led to the creation of the world's first underwater disco party boat in 1989. You know, because why not dance with fish?. Fact: Did you know that yacht races in the 1930s were basically the original reality shows? Just a bunch of rich people competing to see who could spend more money on boats while the rest of us were just trying to figure out how to keep our radios working..
• Headline: Record Farm Income in 1935. Impact: The surge in farm income led to an explosion of pie-eating contests across America, creating a national pastime that somehow convinced people that farming was a sport. Spoiler alert: it wasn't.. Fact: Did you know that in 1935, people were actually excited about farming income? Fast forward to today, and we’re just hoping our avocado toast doesn’t cost us our life savings..
• Headline: O'Casey's Opposition to Abbey Players. Impact: O'Casey's dissent sparked a series of artistic movements that led to the rise of interpretive dance as a legitimate form of protest, confusing many and delighting others at the same time.. Fact: Did you know that dissenting opinions are like the broccoli of intellectual discussions? Everyone knows they should be there, but not everyone wants to deal with them..
• Headline: Dress Deliveries Hampered.. Impact: The struggle with dress deliveries led to the invention of the 'emergency outfit' concept, which is now a staple in every closet for those last-minute 'I have nothing to wear' crises.. Fact: Did you know that the fashion industry has always been slow? They still haven’t gotten over the fact that pants with pockets are a revolutionary idea..
• Headline: Arnoux Sets Airplane Record.. Impact: Arnoux's record-breaking flight inspired a generation of future aviators, who thought to themselves, 'If he can do it, surely I can attempt to fly my uncle’s old lawnmower.'. Fact: Did you know that setting airplane records in the 1930s was just as thrilling as watching paint dry? Except, you know, with slightly more risk of crashing..
• Headline: MISS PERKINS PRAISES SOCIAL BILL PASSAGE; ' One of Most Forward-Looking Steps' in History of the Nation, She Asserts.. Impact: Miss Perkins' praise for the social bill passage ignited a wave of optimism that eventually led to the establishment of the world's first community potluck, forever changing how we perceive sharing food.. Fact: Did you know that social bills are like the motivational posters of government? They look great on the wall, but we all know they don’t actually do much..
• Headline: Named to Democratic Post.. Impact: H.N. Hanson’s appointment as a national committeewoman resulted in a series of 'Who’s Who' lists that have since become an Olympic sport, where no one can figure out who the heck anyone is.. Fact: Did you know that political appointments in the 1930s were like Tinder for bureaucrats? Swipe right for opportunities, swipe left for the ones you’re too embarrassed to admit you ever considered..
• Headline: 'Noiseless Nights' Decreed Here By La Guardia During October; Auto Horn Tooters and Other Offenders Will Be Reprimanded by Police -- Series of 'Noiseless Days,' Then a Drastic Ordinance Against Nuisance Will Follow.. Impact: La Guardia's decree of 'Noiseless Nights' initiated a nationwide quest for silence that eventually birthed the ASMR movement, proving that even the government can accidentally start trends.. Fact: Did you know that 'noiseless nights' were probably just a euphemism for 'we're tired of your loud arguing'? Some things never change, do they?.