JULY 26, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Whitcombes Tied in Irish Golf.. Impact: The Whitcombe brothers tying in golf ignited an intense sibling rivalry that led to a series of increasingly absurd competitions: from who could eat the most potatoes in under a minute to who could out-argue the other about the best potato dishes. Fact: Golf is one of those sports where ties are almost as common as bad puns. Just ask any golfer who’s lost a ball in the rough!.
• Headline: ARTHRITIS LAID TO DIET.; Osteopaths Are Told Return of Nutrition to Normal Is Cure.. Impact: The sudden link between diet and arthritis led to a global panic that resulted in a bizarre fad diet consisting solely of anti-inflammatory foods, which ironically caused more stress and joint pain from the lack of pizza. Fact: The irony of blaming diet for arthritis is rich; after all, who doesn’t feel a little pain after a long day of not eating pizza?.
• Headline: Cromwells Sail for Shanghai.. Impact: The Cromwells’ departure for Shanghai set off an unexpected chain reaction of travel enthusiasm, leading to an increase in 'adventure travel' packages that included dubious activities like 'swimming with sharks while blindfolded.'. Fact: Traveling to Shanghai in the early 20th century was quite the adventure. Nowadays, you just have to dodge the tourist traps instead of actual pirates!.
• Headline: LAWRENCE'S BOOK IS DUE IN THE FALL; Doubleday, Back From Abroad, Tells Plans for 'Seven Pillars of Wisdom.'. Impact: Lawrence's literary endeavor inspired a plethora of similarly titled works, including the infamous 'Seven Pillars of Wisdom: The DIY Guide to Building IKEA Furniture'—which, let’s be honest, is a true test of wisdom!. Fact: Lawrence of Arabia might have been a military genius, but let’s hope he didn't try to apply the same wisdom to assembling furniture.
• Headline: Armstrong Victor in Bout.. Impact: Armstrong's victory sparked a new trend in boxing where fighters started celebrating with interpretive dance routines after matches, leading to a bizarre fusion of boxing and ballet that left audiences both confused and entertained. Fact: Boxers are known for their footwork, but who knew it could also involve pirouettes? Talk about a knockout performance!.
• Headline: INDIGNATION VOICED OVER PAROLE SHIFT; Mrs. Rogers and Vandenberg Assail Dropping Dr. Stannard From Board for Wilson.. Impact: The uproar over the parole board’s decision led to an unprecedented rise in amateur political commentary, where living room debates became the new Olympic sport, complete with scorecards and snacks. Fact: When it comes to political indignation, nothing says 'I care' like shouting at the TV while eating chips. It's practically a national pastime!.