JUNE 20, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: House Group Bill Aids Legislative Passage. Impact: This bill's passage inadvertently led to a 50-year long debate about whether Congress should actually be doing anything useful. Spoiler alert: they didn't.. Fact: Krock's comments are now considered a national pastime, right up there with binge-watching and complaining about the weather!.
• Headline: Dover Faces Housing Crisis in 1935. Impact: The industrial boom in Dover sparked a housing crisis so severe that it led to the invention of the world's first 'tiny homes' – because who needs space when you can have style?. Fact: Dover's housing shortage was so bad that it inspired a reality TV show called 'Hoarders: Industrial Edition.'.
• Headline: Senate Bill Targets Navy Contract Corruption. Impact: The Navy's obsession with profit and secrecy eventually led to the infamous 'Navy Seal Operas' – a series of dramatic reenactments that were more entertaining than educational.. Fact: Collusion and lobbying are just fancy words for 'how to make a lot of money while pretending to do your job.'.
• Headline: ANALYZES TRAFFIC CASES.; Auto Club Head Says 36% of Drivers Got Suspended Sentences.. Impact: This analysis of traffic cases led to a cultural shift where everyone just assumed they could get away with anything as long as they smiled and called it a 'suspended sentence.'. Fact: Suspended sentences are basically the legal system's way of saying, 'You get a timeout, but you can still have dessert.'.
• Headline: NEW AMBULANCE READY.; Kenny Memorial Gift to Fire Department Placed in Service.. Impact: This new ambulance was so shiny that it inadvertently sparked a trend in emergency vehicle fashion, prompting paramedics to become the new style icons of the community.. Fact: Kenny's gift was so generous that it inspired a new motto: 'When in doubt, just donate an ambulance!'.
• Headline: BARNUM PROTESTS ON AAA.. Impact: Barnum's protest opened the floodgates for future public outcry over anything remotely related to safety, leading to a nationwide movement to protect people from their own choices.. Fact: Barnum's name is still synonymous with protests today – mostly because people are always protesting about how his circus was 'not a real circus.'.
• Headline: SECURITY MEASURE PASSED BY SENATE; It Provides Old-Age Pensions, Job Insurance and Aid to Mothers and Children.. Impact: The passing of this security measure inadvertently led to the creation of social safety nets that were so tangled they could confuse even the most seasoned bureaucrat.. Fact: Old-age pensions, job insurance, and aid to mothers were just the government's way of saying, 'We care – sort of.'.
• Headline: JEWISH VETERANS GET WELCOME IN FRANCE; Delegations From 15 Nations Reach Paris for Conference -- Services Are Praised.. Impact: The warm welcome in France was the first step toward establishing the 'International Jewish Veterans' Day,' which would eventually become a celebration of awkward speeches and bad jokes.. Fact: It's said that the French officials praised the veterans' work with the same enthusiasm one has while waiting for a train that's already late..
• Headline: Speaker at City College Exercises Draws Hisses From Graduates; Colonel's Preparedness Plea Protested by Some, Others Applaud -- Dean Klapper Assails Dictators as Menace to Liberal Education -- Commencement Held Indoors.. Impact: The mixed reactions at City College sparked a nationwide debate on free speech that eventually led to the creation of university safe spaces – where everyone could express their opinions without fear of hissing.. Fact: The Colonel's plea for preparedness was so unpopular that it became an instant classic for speeches that should never be repeated..
• Headline: Three Maine Anglers Drown.. Impact: The tragic drowning of the Maine anglers led to a spike in fishing safety regulations, which eventually resulted in the world's first 'life jacket fashion show.'. Fact: Long Pond was so popular for fishing that it was jokingly referred to as the 'Maine River of Dreams' – until someone drowned, of course..