MAY 24, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Bolivia Increases Salaries Amid War Strain. Impact: The raise in salaries due to war effects led to increased consumer spending in Bolivia. This spending inadvertently sparked a coffee craze, resulting in the invention of the 'Bolivian Espresso'—which, ironically, no one in Bolivia drinks.. Fact: Salaries are often raised during wars, but they seldom translate into better coffee. Priorities, am I right?.
• Headline: Truckmen Coercion Case: Guilt Admitted. Impact: The trial halting and admissions of guilt sent shockwaves through the trucking industry. This led to an unexpected boom in the 'pay your protection money' seminar industry—because who doesn't want to learn how to be extorted with style?. Fact: Turns out, coercing truckmen is much easier than teaching them basic math. Who knew?.
• Headline: Mrs. Harder Wedding Announcement. Impact: This low-key wedding ceremony became the foundation for modern-day reality TV, as the couple’s relatives started to argue over who would get the first slice of cake, leading to the first 'Cake Wars.'. Fact: Weddings have historically been a stage for family drama. Just ask anyone who’s ever had to sit through a toast!.
• Headline: PATINO ELECTS CORNISH.; Mining Company Chooses Head of National Lead for Chairman.. Impact: Patino's election as chairman led to a series of questionable mining practices that, centuries later, would inspire a popular video game franchise about resource management—because nothing says 'fun' like virtual exploitation.. Fact: Mining companies electing leaders is like a game of Monopoly—everyone's playing, but nobody's winning..
• Headline: BOWIE HEADS TEACHERS.; Brooklyn Principal Named by Delegates of 77 Groups.. Impact: Bowie's election as head of teachers created a ripple effect where teachers began to feel more empowered, leading to the invention of 'teacher appreciation week.' Spoiler: It’s still not enough.. Fact: Teachers were once considered the backbone of society, until they started asking for pay that reflects that. How dare they?.
• Headline: 'BUCKETSHOP' JURY INDICTS 20 IN SOUTH; Turivas & Co. of Chicago and Its Officers Accused of $100,000 Fraud at New Orleans. INVESTIGATION LED BY SEC Firm Barred in Illinois Last December Had Branches Also in Wilmington and Atlanta.. Impact: The indictment of Turivas & Co. sparked a wave of financial scrutiny that culminated in the creation of the SEC, which later became the world's most elaborate game of 'hide and seek' for corporations.. Fact: Fraud investigations are like reality shows for accountants—lots of drama, and everyone gets a front-row seat to the downfall..
• Headline: BOOKS OF THE TIMES. Impact: The release of 'The Mind and Society' spawned a social science revolution, resulting in countless hipster cafés where people sip overpriced coffee while debating its philosophical implications.. Fact: Books have been known to change lives. Or at the very least, provide excellent dinner party fodder..
• Headline: DR. VANCE HEADS THE PRESBYTERIANS; Detroit Pastor Is Chosen Moderator of General Assembly With Vote of 514. FACTIONAL ISSUES RAISED Rev. Dr. W.C. Covert in Opening Address Appeals for Unity and End of Strife.. Impact: Dr. Vance's election as Moderator became a catalyst for church factions to argue more effectively—leading to the invention of the church potluck as a means of negotiating peace. Spoiler: It didn't work.. Fact: Churches are historically great at unity—until the topic of potluck dishes comes up. Then it's all-out war..
• Headline: J.H. RAND SR. ACCUSED IN INCOME TAX CASE; Manufacturer Is Freed After Taking 'Poor Prisoner's Oath' in Bay State.. Impact: J.H. Rand Sr.'s tax evasion case laid the groundwork for the popular saying, 'Better to be rich and guilty than poor and innocent,' which still resonates in tax circles today.. Fact: Tax evasion is like a rite of passage for the rich—a complicated game of 'Who can afford the best lawyer?'.