MAY 21, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Cuban Prize for Columbia Educator. Impact: Dr. Manach's article inspired generations of teachers worldwide, ultimately leading to the establishment of the International Teachers' Day—now celebrated with cake, awkward speeches, and a deluge of Pinterest boards filled with inspirational quotes.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more inflated than a teacher's ego after winning a prize is the student loan debt they carry?.
• Headline: Polish Cabinet Resignation and Reappointment. Impact: This cabinet reshuffle was like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic—same policies, different faces, and the iceberg of political instability still looming in the distance.. Fact: Fun fact: In Polish politics, reappointment is like a bad relationship—sometimes you just keep going back to what feels familiar, even if it’s a disaster..
• Headline: Leighton Re-elected by Editors in 1935. Impact: This re-election solidified Leighton's reign, paving the way for a future where editors would continue to wield more power than actual politicians, leading to the eventual rise of the 'Editor-in-Chief Supreme' title.. Fact: Did you know that re-elections in journalism are like bad sitcoms? They just keep coming back, even when nobody asked for a sequel..
• Headline: In Washington; Compromise Is Possible in Banking Bill Conflict. Impact: This 'possible compromise' set a precedent for future politicians to make endless promises while doing absolutely nothing—thus giving birth to every politician's favorite pastime: the art of the vague agreement.. Fact: Did you know that in Washington, 'compromise' is just a fancy way of saying, 'We’ll pretend to work together while secretly plotting against each other'?.
• Headline: CIVIL SERVICE SALARIES.; City Employes Still Skeptical of Reclassification Plans.. Impact: The skepticism surrounding salary reclassification became the backbone of civil service employees' lunchroom gossip, leading to an unbreakable bond over shared misery and the invention of the phrase 'We’re all in this together'—ironically, while being paid differently.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more confusing than civil service salary structures are the instructions for assembling IKEA furniture..
• Headline: Rush for Driving Permits.. Impact: This mad dash for driving permits ultimately led to the birth of road rage and the invention of 'Road Trip Karaoke'—because nothing says 'I can't drive' like belting out 90s pop hits at the top of your lungs while stuck in traffic.. Fact: Did you know that the rush for driving permits is basically a rite of passage that transforms ordinary teens into caffeine-fueled road warriors, armed with nothing but snacks and terrible playlists?.
• Headline: SOVIET AIR VICTIMS BURIED WITH HONOR; Stalin and Other Leaders Act as Guards Over Coffins and Urns of the 49 Dead.. Impact: This tragic event underscored the dangers of dissent in Stalin's regime, influencing generations of artists and writers to create works that underscored the importance of free expression, lest history repeat itself.. Fact: It’s ironic that the very leaders who guarded the coffins were the same ones who would have silenced the victims had they the chance—nothing like a little state-sponsored hypocrisy..
• Headline: ARMOUR IS NAMED MINISTER TO CANADA; Envoy to Haiti Is Nominated by Roosevelt to Succeed Robbins at Ottawa.. Impact: Armour’s appointment led to a series of diplomatic dinners where the phrase 'let's talk about trade' was uttered more times than 'how's the weather?'—setting a new standard for small talk that continues to this day.. Fact: Did you know that being a minister to Canada is basically like being the designated driver for a party that never quite gets wild enough?.