MAY 18, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: 1935 Varsity Race on Cayuga Lake. Impact: The fierce rivalry between these universities led to the creation of an underground rowing league in the 1990s, where they raced on office chairs instead of boats. Little did they know, this would inspire a future Olympic sport: Office Chair Racing.. Fact: Yale, Princeton, and Cornell could have just settled their differences with a good ol' game of Monopoly instead of rowing, but alas, who needs board games when you have ego and water?.
• Headline: Yale's Exciting Canal Zone Game. Impact: This seemingly innocent tour led to an unexpected diplomatic incident when a Yale player accidentally insulted a local delicacy, sparking a culinary cold war that resulted in the invention of the 'Yale Sandwich' – a culinary monstrosity no one dares to try.. Fact: The Canal Zone was once a bustling hub of canal-related activities. Now it’s just where Yale students go to pretend they’re world travelers without the hassle of actually leaving the country..
• Headline: Retail Price Bill Signed by Lehman. Impact: This bill was the first step in a chain of events that led to the rise of 'Retail Therapy' – a movement where people felt better about their lives by buying unnecessary items, ultimately resulting in a global obsession with shopping.. Fact: Ah yes, nothing says 'I care about small businesses' like a government proposal. They should really just hand out gift cards and call it a day..
• Headline: MISS KELLER'S TUTOR RECOVERS EYESIGHT; Operation on Mrs. Macy Proves Success and She Will Be Able to See Better Than Ever.. Impact: The success of this operation sparked a movement in medical research that eventually led to innovative treatments for vision problems, enabling future generations to binge-watch their favorite shows without glasses.. Fact: Helen Keller's story is remarkable, but can we take a moment to appreciate Mrs. Macy's journey from tutor to superhero? Talk about an upgrade!.
• Headline: Knight Bachelor Annexes Title In $1,000 Harness Horse Stake; Miss King's High-Stepping Gelding Conquers Glenavon Trumpeter at Atlantic City -- Mrs. Guggenheim Takes Hunter Blues With Firenze Red Tape and Firenze Judge.. Impact: This event unwittingly led to the creation of a secret society of harness racers who believed they were the true heirs of the chariot racing legacy, leading to a bizarre underground circuit that would eventually inspire the movie 'Fast & Furious: Horsepower'.. Fact: Harness racing: because sometimes regular horse racing just isn’t pretentious enough..
• Headline: Urquhart Tablet Unveiled.. Impact: The unveiling of this tablet started a trend of memorials that would eventually lead to entire parks dedicated to forgotten local heroes, including a statue of a cat that saved its owner from a falling tree.. Fact: Tablets: the ancient version of social media, where you could literally carve your thoughts into stone and hope someone admires your handiwork thousands of years later..
• Headline: 33% TUBERCULAR RATE IS FOUND IN STUDENTS; Results of Jersey Survey Held One of Most Serious Problems of College Youths.. Impact: This alarming statistic led to an increase in health awareness on campuses, sparking a movement that eventually resulted in mandatory yoga classes and green juice in student cafeterias – talk about a health revolution!. Fact: A 33% tubercular rate? Who knew college was just a breeding ground for respiratory illnesses and questionable life choices?.
• Headline: CAROLYN JONES WED TO LESLIE FERGUSON; The Ceremony Takes Place at St. Luke's Episcopal Church in Montclalr, N. J.. Impact: This marriage set off a chain reaction of awkward family gatherings and endless debates over who gets the last slice of cake at every subsequent wedding – the true test of love.. Fact: Weddings: the only time you can spend a fortune being surrounded by people you only see once a year and still call it a celebration..