MAY 10, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Birds in Art Exhibition at White Sulphur. Impact: This art show sparked a global obsession with birdwatching in the late 20th century. If only all art could save the environment, we might have actual forests left instead of just Instagram filters of them.. Fact: Birdwatching: the only hobby where you can spend hours staring at a tree and still be considered normal. Just don't mention the squirrels..
• Headline: Ships Deliver Vital Vegetables to Turks Islanders. Impact: The rushed shipment of vegetables created an underground economy of vegetable smuggling, leading to the rise of a new generation of 'veggie cartels.' Who knew carrots could be so illegal?. Fact: Nothing says 'I care' like shipping vegetables in a crisis. Next time you're in a pickle, just remember: lettuce is always greener on the other side..
• Headline: PRESBYTERY VOTES M'COMB A MEMBER; New Fundamentalist Pastor of Broadway Church First Undergoes Questioning.. Impact: McComb's acceptance into the Presbytery led to an unexpected resurgence of fundamentalism, resulting in a new wave of 'Do Not Disturb' signs on church doors.. Fact: Becoming a pastor is like becoming a celebrity, except instead of fans, you get a bunch of people with questions about your beliefs. Talk about a no-win situation!.
• Headline: REICH TO PUT LAWS ON A 'TRIBAL' BASIS; New Code Makes Slander of German People or Nazi Institutions 'Treason,'. Impact: This law change paved the way for more absurd definitions of 'treason,' eventually leading to a world where accidentally mispronouncing 'Wurst' could land you in a courtroom.. Fact: Slander laws on a 'tribal' basis? Because nothing says 'freedom of speech' like a legal system that prioritizes feelings over facts..
• Headline: SENATORS MODIFY UTILITIES BILL AGAIN; ' Prudent Investment' Provision as Rate Basis Is Dropped for 'Actual Cost' Plan.. Impact: The utilities bill modifications triggered a never-ending cycle of political debates. Fast forward a few decades, and we have people arguing over who gets to plug in their toaster first.. Fact: Politics and utility bills are like peanut butter and jelly—tasty to some, but most just end up with a sticky mess..
• Headline: Ship Returns Rescued Pigeon.. Impact: The return of the pigeon was so inspiring that it sparked the first post-war bird migration awareness campaign, leading to countless pigeons being celebrated as heroes.. Fact: Carrier pigeons: the original text message service. They might not have emojis, but they sure knew how to deliver a message!.
• Headline: Czechoslovakia Protests Nazi Kidnapping; Bids Reich Return Man Seized on Border. Impact: Czechoslovakia's protest against Nazi kidnapping ignited a wave of resistance that would inspire countless future movements. Small actions lead to big revolutions, folks!. Fact: Protesting is like a workout for your soul—just remember to stretch beforehand, because history can be a real pain in the back!.
• Headline: COUNT DENIES TROTH TO PRINCESS MDIVANI; Dane Scouts Rumors on His Arrival Here, Says He Will Not Marry at All.. Impact: The Count's denial of marriage rumors set off a chain reaction of noblemen reconsidering their romantic commitments, ultimately leading to an era of ridiculously single royals and their endless parties.. Fact: Denying a marriage is just a polite way of saying 'I'd rather spend my weekends playing golf than dealing with wedding planning.'.
• Headline: Taft Made Peace Trustee.. Impact: Taft becoming a peace trustee contributed to the development of countless peace initiatives, resulting in a world that's still trying to figure out how to achieve it without resorting to interpretive dance.. Fact: Being a peace trustee sounds fancy, but let's be real: it’s mostly a lot of meetings and a desperate search for good snacks..