MAY 7, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Advocating Work Relief for Unemployed Women. Impact: This push for women's work relief sparked a century-long debate about gender equality in the workplace. If only they had known that 'Army of Misfits' would eventually lead to an army of women in power suits in boardrooms everywhere!. Fact: Did you know that the term 'Army of Misfits' is still used today? It's just that now it refers to all the people who can't figure out how to work Zoom..
• Headline: Gehlbach's Daring Parachute Escape. Impact: Gehlbach's parachute landing was the first step towards making skydiving cool. Little did he know, his dramatic descent would inspire countless YouTube stunts and a few unfortunate TikTok challenges.. Fact: Did you know parachuting was once considered a last-resort option? Now it's a thrilling hobby for those who think jumping out of planes is a good idea... like, who needs a safety net?.
• Headline: Attendance Surge at Natural History Centre. Impact: The rise in museum attendance was a pivotal moment for culture vultures everywhere. It marked the beginning of the age where people would pretend to appreciate art while taking selfies instead.. Fact: Did you know that 200,000 visitors later, museums still struggle with the age-old question: 'Is this a Monet or just a really good print?'.
• Headline: GRAYSON LAUDS RED CROSS; On First Visit to Chapter Here, He Calls It Best Equipped.. Impact: Grayson's praise for the Red Cross helped establish it as a go-to for disaster relief, leading to the creation of countless charity events where people feel good about eating overpriced hors d'oeuvres.. Fact: Did you know the Red Cross was founded in 1863? Turns out it took that long for someone to think, 'Hey, maybe we should help people in crisis!'.
• Headline: BUSINESS WORLD. Impact: This wholesale dry goods amendment was a classic case of 'the little guys getting squashed by the big guys.' It set the stage for future retail therapy sessions, where consumers just spend their troubles away.. Fact: Did you know that 'dry goods' is just a fancy way of saying 'clothes'? So basically, this headline was about a bunch of stores arguing about who gets to sell you that sweater you didn't need..
• Headline: DR. ROSENBERG CLEARED.; Jersey City Prosecutor Says Physician Was Victim of Error.. Impact: Dr. Rosenberg's clearance from perjury charges underscored the importance of due process. If only more people knew that a good lawyer could save you from a lifetime of awkward small talk at dinner parties.. Fact: Did you know that being cleared of perjury charges is considered a win? It’s like getting a participation trophy, but for adults who just wanted to tell the truth!.
• Headline: ROBE LABEL RATES ISSUED.; Amended Administrative Order for Code Authority Announced.. Impact: The amended label rates were the beginning of a long saga of bureaucratic red tape. Fast forward to today, and we’re still trying to decipher the labels on everything from food to furniture.. Fact: Did you know that the Code Authority Labels were designed to be as confusing as IKEA assembly instructions? Just when you think you understand them, they throw in a few 'amended' versions!.
• Headline: MERCHANTS FIGHT PRICE-FIXING BILL; Urge Lehman, at Hearing, to Veto 'Manufacturers' Monopoly' in State.. Impact: This merchants' fight against price-fixing was the start of a never-ending battle against monopolies. Spoiler alert: they still haven’t won, and now we just have to deal with overpriced coffee.. Fact: Did you know that price-fixing is like trying to keep your friend from ordering the same thing as you at a restaurant? Good luck with that!.
• Headline: REDRAFT IS FORCED ON SOCIAL SECURITY; Senate Committee Is Called to Meet Today to Put Bill in Line With Rail Ruling.. Impact: The forced redraft for Social Security was a crucial moment that set the tone for future legislative tweaks. It’s the classic case of politicians saying, 'Oops, we messed up—let's fix that!'. Fact: Did you know that Social Security has been 'redrafted' so many times it has more edits than a high school essay? At this point, it should just be a collaborative novel!.