APRIL 30, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Van Dyck Painting of Queen Henrietta Rediscovered. Impact: This painting led to a surge in royal portrait commissions, igniting a trend that caused generations of artists to paint too many portraits of people who looked like they just rolled out of bed.. Fact: Did you know that artists in the 17th century had to literally paint for their supper? No wonder they always made their subjects look so regal!.
• Headline: Advancements in Stage Acoustics Revealed. Impact: This groundbreaking study led to the invention of the dreaded 'audience participation' segment in modern performances, which has haunted theatergoers ever since.. Fact: Fun fact: Before this study, sound was just something that happened in the background, like your neighbor's dog barking during a serious movie..
• Headline: Books on American Fascism. Impact: The mention of 'American Fascism' in literature sparked a wave of concerned discussions that inadvertently led to a new genre of dystopian fiction, which somehow always ends up being a bestseller.. Fact: Ironically, the most popular dystopian novel today is often just someone’s social media feed from the last decade..
• Headline: MYSTERY LOCOMOTIVE READY; Lehman Will See Rival of Planes Take Rails Today at Schenectady.. Impact: This locomotive was so fast that it inspired a series of impractical train heists in movies where the villains were always inexplicably outsmarted by a tortoise.. Fact: Did you know that trains were once considered so advanced that people thought they would replace horses entirely? Spoiler alert: they didn’t..
• Headline: SETTLEMENT SHOW OPENS.; 400 Items on View at Arts and Crafts Exhibition.. Impact: This exhibition sparked a crafting craze that led to the creation of Pinterest and a generation of people who now have an inexplicable number of half-finished projects in their basements.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more abundant than crafts supplies in people's homes is the shame of never actually using them..
• Headline: FRANCE AND RUSSIA PROGRESS ON PACT; Treaty for Mutual Aid May Be Initialed This Week if the Paris Cabinet Approves.. Impact: This treaty was the butterfly that flapped its wings, leading to a tangled web of alliances that eventually taught a whole generation about the complexity of international relations—thanks, history!. Fact: Did you know that treaties often come down to a game of 'who can sign the paper the fastest'? Spoiler: the answer is never the countries involved..
• Headline: CABARET IN BANKRUPTCY.; Casino De Paree Seeks Authority to Reorganize Under Act.. Impact: This financial disaster led to a rise in the popularity of karaoke bars, where people could safely express their financial despair through song—at least no one loses money on bad singing.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more entertaining than a cabaret show is watching someone try to sing after a few too many drinks..
• Headline: MGR. HINSLEY ENTHRONED.; Succeeds Cardinal Bourne as Archbishop of Westminster.. Impact: Mgr. Hinsley's enthronement set a precedent for archbishops to have more dramatic entrances, which eventually led to more elaborate church ceremonies—because who doesn’t love a good hat?. Fact: Did you know that being an archbishop is basically a full-time job for someone with a flair for the dramatic? Talk about high stakes!.
• Headline: PLUMBERS TO MEET TODAY; State Convention to Be Opened by Mayor This Morning.. Impact: This convention laid the groundwork for the legendary plumber debates of the future, where heated discussions about toilet technology would inevitably devolve into arguments over who had the best mustache.. Fact: Fun fact: If you think your plumbing issues are bad, just remember that someone, somewhere, is probably dealing with an even worse leak right now..
• Headline: MEXICO SATISFIED OVER SILVER PRICE; Looks 'Favorably on Revalorization of Metal,' Says Lopez After Morgenthau Talks.. Impact: This moment of optimism about silver prices led to an unexpected surge in silver jewelry sales, which somehow convinced people that they could single-handedly bring back the '80s fashion trends.. Fact: Did you know that silver was once used as currency? Now it’s mostly used for shiny things and grandma’s old jewelry box!.