APRIL 26, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Betty Rice's Bermuda Wedding. Impact: Betty's decision to wed in Bermuda set off a chain reaction of destination weddings, leading to the rise of overpriced beach resorts and a generation of brides who can't spell 'budget'.. Fact: Did you know that in 1923, Bermuda was basically the Las Vegas for the upper crust? Because nothing says romance like a wedding in a tax haven!.
• Headline: Whitney Heiress Renounces U.S. Citizenship. Impact: Mrs. Elmhirst's decision to renounce her citizenship sparked an underground movement among the rich to avoid taxes, leading to the creation of offshore accounts and the modern concept of 'wealth management'—a fancy term for hiding money.. Fact: Fun fact: renouncing American citizenship has become so trendy among the wealthy that I half-expect a reality show called 'Real Housewives of the Tax Haven'..
• Headline: Bank of Canada Weekly Statement Insights. Impact: The Bank of Canada's increase in note circulation made everyone think that more money in circulation equals more happiness, leading to the whimsical idea that simply printing cash could solve all world problems—spoiler alert, it didn’t.. Fact: Did you know that the Canadian banknotes are made of polymer? Because if you're going to print money, it might as well be eco-friendly!.
• Headline: PHONE TALK HERE ENCIRCLES GLOBE; A.T.&T. Officials, 50 Feet Apart, Chat Over Circuit of 23,000 Miles.. Impact: This monumental phone call kicked off a global obsession with chatting, which eventually led to the rise of social media, internet trolls, and everyone’s least favorite pastime: Zoom calls.. Fact: Fun fact: This was the first time people realized they could talk to someone on the other side of the world without yelling—though it took decades for THAT etiquette to catch on..
• Headline: THE RIGHT TO PARADE.. Impact: This proclamation sparked a long tradition of parades, leading to a future where every holiday is celebrated with excessive floats, confetti, and the ever-important 'who can throw the best candy'.. Fact: Parades are basically organized chaos where people dress up and throw things at each other—so it’s kind of like a family reunion, but with fewer arguments about politics!.
• Headline: $3,100 FOR A FIRST EDITION; 1808 'Microcosm of London' Goes With Rowlandson Drawings.. Impact: This sale ignited a collector frenzy, making people believe that owning a dusty old book would somehow grant them social status, thus creating a bizarre market for overpriced literary artifacts.. Fact: A first edition of a book is basically the 'vintage' version of a selfie—worth a fortune to some, and just a reminder of questionable decisions to others..
• Headline: HANNIBAL DEDICATES MARK TWAIN MUSEUM; Writer's Daughter Recalls His Whimsies -- Town Picked for Youth Memorial Shrine.. Impact: The dedication of the Mark Twain Museum transformed Hannibal into a literary pilgrimage site, leading to an overzealous tourist influx and the inevitable 'Twain-themed' souvenirs that nobody asked for.. Fact: Did you know that Mark Twain's real name was Samuel Clemens? And no, 'Mark Twain' isn’t just what you say when you’re trying to sound smart at parties..
• Headline: BUS PERMIT AWARD URGED; West Side Association Champions the 8th Avenue Company.. Impact: This bus permit debate set off a chain reaction of bureaucracy and red tape that would haunt city planners for decades, ultimately resulting in the modern-day traffic jams we all love to hate.. Fact: Fun fact: Sometimes, it feels like city planning meetings are just a group of people arguing over who gets to pick the color of the new bus stop!.
• Headline: Non-Clicking.. Impact: This vague headline likely led to a series of misunderstandings in technology, sparking an entire subculture of people who refuse to click things in the digital age, and thus missing out on cat videos.. Fact: Non-clicking is basically the adult version of 'don't touch that!', and we all know how well that works out in practice!.