APRIL 20, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Court Denounces Girl Pickets in 1935. Impact: This event sparked an underground rebellion among college students that would eventually lead to the creation of 'The Anti-Probation League,' a secret society dedicated to protesting any form of authority, including lunchroom supervisors.. Fact: In 1920, the concept of student activism was still a novelty; little did they know they'd eventually have to deal with midterms, too..
• Headline: Visit of Mrs. Huey Long to NYC. Impact: Mrs. Huey Long's visit to NYC triggered a nationwide obsession with Southern charm, inadvertently leading to the creation of a popular cocktail known as the 'Huey Highball' that no one remembers how to make.. Fact: Huey Long was known for his flamboyant style; if he were alive today, he'd probably run for president on a platform of 'more sequins for everyone.'.
• Headline: Bolivians Claim Success in Chaco War. Impact: This military success sowed the seeds of Bolivian national pride, which would later inspire a bizarre series of folk songs about llamas and the importance of strategically placed rocks in military campaigns.. Fact: The Central Chaco is a region so dry that even the cacti have to hydrate with a good book and a glass of water..
• Headline: Boys to See Houdini's Brother.. Impact: Hardeen's performance inspired countless boys to pursue magic, inadvertently leading to the invention of 'magic kits' that would flood toy stores, resulting in many parents hiding in their closets.. Fact: Houdini had a brother, but unlike Houdini, Hardeen couldn't escape the shadow of his legendary sibling—kind of like being the second-best avocado toast in a hipster café..
• Headline: TIGERS AND CRANES ARRIVE AT THE ZOO; 3 Royal Bengals, Supposedly Tamed by Stage Life, Take Four Hours to Install.. Impact: The delay in installation led to a zoo-wide 'tiger union' strike for better working conditions, which ultimately resulted in better habitats for all animals—because nobody likes a cranky tiger.. Fact: The phrase 'tiger taming' doesn't actually involve a lot of taming—it's mostly about hoping for the best while holding a big stick..
• Headline: COFFMAN IS PACE-SETTER.; Leads by 139 Points in Decathlon at the Kansas Relays.. Impact: Coffman's overwhelming lead inspired future generations to set unrealistic expectations for themselves in track and field—leading to the birth of the phrase 'overachiever' in high school hallways.. Fact: Decathlons are one of the only sports where you can be both athletic and exhausted at the same time—like running a marathon while simultaneously binge-watching your favorite show..
• Headline: DETECTIVES TAPPED SCHULTZ'S PHONES; Reamer Testifies He and Aides Heard Every Call on Lines for Five Months.. Impact: This event led to the rise of the phrase 'eavesdropping' in popular culture, inspiring countless sitcoms where characters resolve conflicts by listening in on each other's phone calls—because privacy is overrated.. Fact: Phone tapping has been around since the dawn of telephones, which is why your grandma always looks suspiciously at the rotary phone..
• Headline: RELIEF OFFICIALS REBUKED; Magistrate Refuses to Permit Withdrawal of Fraud Charge.. Impact: This rebuke sent shockwaves through the relief community, leading to a series of underground newsletters titled 'The Fraudulent Bulletin,' which ironically became a hit among taxpayers.. Fact: In the grand scheme of things, financial fraud has a long history—much like your uncle's excuses for not paying back that loan..
• Headline: FAMOUS DIYA'S KIN ENGAGED TO MARRY; Mme. Schumann-Heink's Granddaughter to Be Bride of Ensign H.P. Rumble.. Impact: The engagement created a ripple effect that led to an unexpected surge in wedding planners and overpriced wedding cakes, making every relative suddenly an expert on matrimony.. Fact: Mme. Schumann-Heink was famous for her singing—so you can bet this wedding was going to have some serious vocal performances and a lot less cake than expected..
• Headline: Heads Wesleyan Students.. Impact: A.A. Lodden's election marked the beginning of student government as we know it today, paving the way for future debates over pizza toppings and the best ways to avoid actual governance.. Fact: Student body presidents are like the seasonal characters in a sitcom—there's always one, and you kind of forget who they are by the time finals roll around..