APRIL 13, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Eastman Lab Perfects Color Film for Amateurs. Impact: The invention of color film sparked a revolution in the film industry, leading to the inception of countless amateur filmmakers. One of them, a certain George Lucas, would eventually create a little franchise called Star Wars, which has since become a cultural phenomenon—thanks, Eastman!. Fact: Did you know that before color film, movies were like your grandma's old photo albums—full of sepia tones and questionable fashion choices? Yeah, color was a game changer!.
• Headline: Wedding of Ruth Phillips and R. R. Sizer Jr.. Impact: This marriage likely resulted in a family tree that, decades later, would be filled with countless 'what are they doing now?' questions on social media. Who knew such a simple 'I do' could lead to years of family drama and awkward reunions?. Fact: Marriage: the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy. Just kidding—congratulations to the happy couple!.
• Headline: The Times: Exploratory Missions Unveiled. Impact: This vague headline suggests that the times were so boring that they couldn't even muster a specific topic. However, it paved the way for future columnists to invent clickbait titles, leading to our current age of sensationalized news. Fact: In the world of journalism, 'Topics of The Times' is basically the equivalent of saying, 'I have nothing interesting to say, but here I am anyway.'.
• Headline: MORATORIUM IS ASSAILED.; Investment Bankers Protest Move Begun in Florida.. Impact: This protest over a moratorium likely led to a chain reaction of financial regulations that would later confuse generations of college students in economics classes. Thanks, Florida!. Fact: Investment bankers protesting? That's like cats protesting against catnip—it's just not going to happen without some serious feline drama.
• Headline: Union College Editors Named.. Impact: By appointing these editors, Union College set the stage for future editors to bicker over the layout of the college newspaper, leading to a tradition of passive-aggressive emails that would persist for generations. Fact: Being a college editor is basically a crash course in how to deal with egos that are bigger than the school's endowment.
• Headline: Cicada, Not Grasshopper.. Impact: This headline likely stopped a few arguments in their tracks, avoiding a future where people would argue about insects at dinner parties—because nothing says 'good time' like a heated debate over the correct name for a bug. Fact: Fun fact: Cicadas have a life cycle that involves 17 years underground. That's longer than some people take to finish college!.
• Headline: Fined $8.50, Makes on Deal.. Impact: This fine probably inspired someone to start a movement to fight against unjust speeding tickets, eventually leading to the rise of online forums where people complain about their latest traffic citations. Fact: An $8.50 fine? That's the kind of money you find stuck in your couch cushions. Maybe he should've just bought pizza instead.
• Headline: NATION'S STUDENTS 'STRIKE' FOR PEACE; DISORDERS ARE FEW; Thousands at Universities in City Join Protest Against War and Fascism.. Impact: This protest sowed the seeds of activism for generations to come. Future students would learn that when it comes to speaking out against injustice, sometimes you need more than just a hashtag. Fact: It's funny how students can organize a strike but can never seem to organize a study group. Priorities, right?.
• Headline: PURCHASE 2 PLANTATIONS.; Walker Inman and Robert Goelet Buy Georgia Properties,. Impact: This purchase likely contributed to the agricultural legacy of the South, which would later play a role in the ongoing debates about land ownership and its historical implications—talk about planting seeds for future discussions!. Fact: Buying plantations is like buying a really expensive hobby—except this one comes with a side of historical baggage.
• Headline: LEADERS OF THE PEOPLE.. Impact: This vague proclamation about leaders probably led to a rise in self-proclaimed 'leaders' on social media, where everyone suddenly had an opinion about how to run the world. Fact: Being a leader of the people is basically a fancy way of saying, 'I have a lot of ideas, and I hope you like them as much as I do!'.