APRIL 5, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: O G Davenport Offers Police Leadership Free. Impact: O G Davenport's selfless offer to lead the police without pay sparked a nationwide trend of unpaid internships. This led to an increase in job applications from college students who felt underqualified for actual police work. Also, crime rates skyrocketed as no one wanted to do the job for free.. Fact: Unpaid police work: the original gig economy! Who knew crime fighting could be a side hustle?.
• Headline: Tragic Deaths of Exiled German Women. Impact: The mysterious deaths of Dr. Fabian and Mathilde Wurm sent shockwaves through the socialist community, inspiring future activists to adopt the motto 'live to fight another day'—a phrase that ironically led many to choose less risky professions, like accounting.. Fact: These tragic events highlighted the dangers faced by exiles and led to increased awareness of political persecution—proof that sometimes, the pen (or in this case, the poison) is mightier than the sword..
• Headline: GOVERNMENT WILL TAX MELLON ON ART GIFTS; Bureau Denies Exemption on $19,000,000 Paintings, and Gallery Plan Is in 'Jeopardy.'. Impact: The taxation of art gifts led to a national crisis in creativity, prompting artists to start hiding their masterpieces in the hopes of circumventing taxes. This ultimately resulted in the rise of underground art galleries where the term 'tax evasion' became synonymous with 'avant-garde.'. Fact: Who knew the IRS could make or break an art gallery? Perhaps they should start offering painting classes instead!.
• Headline: 38 Tiles Are Sold for $1,000.. Impact: The sale of those 38 tiles ignited a bizarre trend of tile collecting, which later morphed into a full-blown reality show called 'Tile Wars.' The show somehow managed to make millions off people trading bathroom decor.. Fact: Tiles: the original collectible! Forget stamps or coins; who wouldn't want to brag about their extensive tile collection?.
• Headline: LEHMAN TO APPEAL FOR REDISTRICTING; Governor Will Address the People by Radio Sunday Night to Combat Tammany Foes.. Impact: Governor Lehman's radio address set the stage for political soap operas, leading to a generation where political debates resembled dramatic performances, complete with plot twists and cliffhangers.. Fact: Talk about a plot twist! Who knew politics could be the original reality TV?.
• Headline: WINS $100,000 FROM BEDFORD-JONES'S WIFE; Former Spouse Sued Successor for Taking Husband, a Fiction Writer.. Impact: This lawsuit set a precedent for future celebrity divorces, where winning money over love became a popular pastime, leading to reality shows that glorified breakup dramas.. Fact: Proof that in love and lawsuits, the real winner is always the lawyer!.
• Headline: MELLON REFUSED PROFIT, TOOK LOSS; Tells Tax Board Stock He Sold for $500,000 Could Have Brought $10,000,000.. Impact: Mellon’s decision to take a loss inspired future investors to embrace the 'strategic loss' technique, leading to an entire generation of financially confused stock traders who thought losing money was the new winning strategy.. Fact: Turns out, losing money is a real art form—Mellon was just ahead of the trend!.