MARCH 26, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Jean Jabot Seeks Rescue Off Halifax. Impact: The Jean Jabot's distress led to the maritime rescue protocols we have today. Who knew a ship almost sinking could result in more paperwork for future sailors?. Fact: Did you know that the Jean Jabot's captain later claimed he was just testing the waters for a future reality TV show about maritime disasters?.
• Headline: Consider the Beaver Initiative. Impact: This headline sparked intense debate about beaver conservation, leading to a future where beaver-themed cafes became all the rage in hipster neighborhoods.. Fact: Fun fact: the beaver is the only animal that can single-handedly change the course of a river and the course of your brunch plans..
• Headline: Engagement of Hall and Lewis in 1935. Impact: This engagement was the start of a long lineage of Hall family weddings, which would eventually create a college football dynasty. Sorry, no pressure!. Fact: Did you know that E B Hall later claimed that engagement rings are just 'really expensive handcuffs'?.
• Headline: PRESIDENT LEAVES FOR FISHING CRUISE; Decision to Quit Washington Comes After Surprising Recovery by L.M. Howe.. Impact: The president's fishing trip became a blueprint for future leaders' vacations, showing that sometimes the best decisions are made with a fishing rod in hand... or a golf club.. Fact: Did you know that the president returned from this trip with more fish than policies? Talk about a catch!.
• Headline: R.A. MOFFETT WEDS MISS RUTH QUIGLEY; Bridegroom's Father, Head of FHA, Is His Best Man at Palm Beach Ceremony.. Impact: R.A. Moffett's wedding made headlines, leading to the future trend of celebrity weddings that would ultimately drive us all to envy and despair on social media.. Fact: Fun fact: the wedding cake was so extravagant that it inspired a generation of brides to think they could outdo it... spoiler alert: they couldn't..
• Headline: Safe Thieves Get $3,000 Gems.. Impact: The theft of gems caused a ripple effect, leading to stricter safe designs and ultimately the invention of the 'unbreakable' safe, which ironically only attracted more thieves.. Fact: Did you know that Turtur once claimed he thought the gems were just 'really shiny rocks'? Because who doesn’t have a soft spot for geology?.
• Headline: Standards of City Relief Analyzed in Report to Mayor La Guardia. Impact: The analysis of malnutrition led to a national health movement. Who knew that a report could lead to kale being deemed a superfood, thus ruining salads for the next generation?. Fact: Did you know that Mayor La Guardia later attempted to replace all school lunches with kale? Let's just say that didn’t go over well..
• Headline: PRINCETON ATHLETE ARRESTED AS THIEF; Frank B. John, Star Football Player, Held in Mysterious Looting of Dormitories.. Impact: Frank B. John's arrest set a precedent for how athletes would be treated in the media. Spoiler: it wasn't great, leading to future scandals that made sports more dramatic than soap operas.. Fact: Fun fact: Frank later claimed he was framed, stating he was just 'borrowing' items for an art project..
• Headline: LIBERTY LEAGUE DRIVE ON.; Regional Office Opened Here to Develop Membership.. Impact: The Liberty League's membership drive led to a series of groups that would eventually vie for attention in the already crowded landscape of civic organizations. Thanks, guys!. Fact: Did you know that the Liberty League's motto was 'Let's unite for absolutely no reason at all?' Because why not?.
• Headline: BELCHER TEST CASE OF VALIDITY OF NRA TO BE ABANDONED; New Solicitor General to Notify Supreme Court of Decision in Lumber Fight.. Impact: The abandonment of the Belcher test case on the NRA set in motion a series of legal battles that would make future lawyers very, very rich. Thanks for the future job security!. Fact: Fun fact: the new Solicitor General later admitted he just wanted to watch the world burn... legally, of course..