MARCH 21, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Auto Club Supports Traffic Regulation Bill. Impact: The Auto Club's support for the traffic board led to the establishment of traffic lights, which eventually sparked the creation of a whole new industry: road rage management courses. Thank you, Auto Club, for keeping our roads so civilized.. Fact: Did you know that the first traffic light was installed in 1868? It was gas-powered and likely caused more confusion than a toddler with a crayon..
• Headline: Historic U.S. Glass Show in London. Impact: The U.S. glass show in London ignited an obsession with glass art, leading to the creation of award-winning glassblowing shows that took the world by storm. Who knew blowing on hot glass could lead to such a 'clear' future?. Fact: Did you know that Steuben glass is so fancy that even the dust on it has a higher social status than most of us?.
• Headline: Boy Saved by Book During Attack. Impact: The book that saved the boy became a metaphor for literature's power, inspiring countless children to hide their favorite novels under their jackets, leading to an underground book club movement that would rival the best secret societies.. Fact: Did you know that in some cultures, books are considered treasures? Clearly, this boy had excellent taste in both literature and self-defense!.
• Headline: DAISY CHAIN BEARERS ARE NAMED AT VASSAR; Twenty-six Sophomores Chosen for Standing in College Activities.. Impact: The selection of daisy chain bearers at Vassar laid the groundwork for future generations of college students to invent increasingly elaborate ways of spending their weekends, distracting them from actual studying. Thanks, daisies!. Fact: Did you know that the daisy chain is not just a cute accessory? It's also a way to distract friends from your lack of actual plans!.
• Headline: LONDON WILL ACT TO APPEASE PARIS; Will Send Eden to France to Restore Faith in United Front Toward Germany.. Impact: London's efforts to appease Paris set off a series of diplomatic dances that would ultimately lead to decades of complex international relations, proving once again that when in doubt, send a diplomat to shake hands and hope for the best.. Fact: Did you know that diplomacy is like a dance? Except the music is awkward silence and the steps often involve avoiding stepping on toes..
• Headline: Puts Our Merchant Fleet Lowest in Efficiency. Impact: The report on the merchant fleet's efficiency caused a national panic over shipping logistics, leading to an unexpected renaissance in postal pigeons as the preferred method of communication for emergency messages. Fly, pigeons, fly!. Fact: Did you know that the postal pigeon was so reliable that some people preferred it over their local delivery service? Talk about a bird with a job!.
• Headline: Article 4 -- No Title. Impact: The League's notification about the arms embargo raised against Bolivia led to a flurry of diplomatic activity, resulting in a game of international chess that nobody wanted to play but everyone was forced to endure.. Fact: Did you know that embargoes are like the world's worst dinner party? No one gets anything, and everyone leaves feeling awkward..
• Headline: BROWNING WITNESS HEARD; Hospital Orderly Says He Got $250 -- Signed Predated Codicil.. Impact: The testimony regarding the signed predated codicil sparked a series of courtroom dramas that inspired Hollywood to create entire film genres dedicated to legal battles, proving that the truth is often stranger than fiction... and much more lucrative.. Fact: Did you know that courtroom dramas are so popular that they’ve turned many a lawyer into an unexpected celebrity? Who knew legalese could be so glamorous?.