MARCH 16, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Roosevelt's Favorite Hymns Revealed. Impact: Roosevelt's hymn choices sparked a nationwide trend of hymn-based reality shows, leading to the eventual rise of 'America's Got Hymns,' where contestants compete for the highest praise from a panel of 19th-century theologians.. Fact: Did you know that the most popular hymn today is 'How Great Thou Art'? Clearly, Roosevelt had better taste than most modern music critics..
• Headline: Rogers Signs Contract with Fox Film Corp. Impact: Rogers renewing his film contract led to an explosion of cheesy romantic comedies, eventually culminating in the invention of the 'meet-cute' trope, which has since ruined countless lives on-screen.. Fact: Fun fact: If you add up all the romantic comedies Rogers starred in, you might just hit the runtime of a single epic saga—like 'The Lord of the Rings.'.
• Headline: Unique Cat Wins at Boys Club Show. Impact: The hypnotic cat with mismatched eyes opened the door to the world of animal influencers, leading to a future where cats dominate social media and humans are mere servants to their feline overlords.. Fact: Did you know that cats have been worshipped in various cultures? Looks like they’ve always had their eye on world domination—literally..
• Headline: Bon Voyage Party Aboard Olympic Is Held for Grand National Group; Bull, Among Those Who Will See Aintree Classic, Hopes for a Fourth American Victory -- Mr. and Mrs. Thierot, Duke and Duchess of Marlborough, Marquis of Blandford Guests.. Impact: The bon voyage party aboard the Olympic was a pivotal moment in party history, eventually evolving into the notorious 'party cruise' industry, where people now pay exorbitant fees to be trapped on a ship with strangers.. Fact: Fun fact: The Olympic was not just a ship; it was a floating social experiment that proved humans can indeed survive without Wi-Fi for a few hours—barely..
• Headline: GAIN IN INCOME TAX SHOWN IN LATE RUSH; Collectors Here and in Nation Report Increase in Volume, Indicating Rise in Total.. Impact: The increase in income tax filings led to the development of tax evasion strategies that have since become a rite of passage for aspiring accountants and entrepreneurs looking to dodge the IRS.. Fact: Did you know that tax season has been scientifically proven to be the most stressful time of the year? It's like the finals week of adulting..
• Headline: CATHEDRAL FILLED FOR PUPIN SERVICE; Tributes Paid by Notables to Scientist's Spiritual and Practical Qualities.. Impact: The tributes paid at Pupin's service inspired generations of scientists to pursue their work with the hope of receiving similar accolades, leading to a world where scientists are now more celebrated than rock stars—sort of.. Fact: Fun fact: Pupin was not just a scientist but also a pioneer of long-distance telephone communication. Imagine how many awkward calls he helped facilitate!.
• Headline: ROOSEVELT ORDERS TELEPHONE INOUIRY; He Signs Resolution Granting $750,000 for a Sweeping Investigation of Industry.. Impact: Roosevelt's inquiry into the telephone industry marked the beginning of relentless government oversight, paving the way for endless waiting on hold while listening to elevator music.. Fact: Did you know that the average American spends about 43 days of their life on hold? Thanks, Roosevelt, for that lovely gift!.
• Headline: 14 Show Recent Works.. Impact: The exhibition showcasing recent works marked the start of the 'artistic critique' culture, where everyone suddenly became an art expert and began to argue passionately about things they didn’t truly understand.. Fact: Fun fact: Art is subjective, which means that your 'masterpiece' could be someone else's 'what on earth is that?'.
• Headline: The Revealing Line.. Impact: The exhibition of etchings and drawings contributed to the proliferation of 'artsy' coffee shops, which are now filled with people pretending to appreciate art while actually just Instagramming their overpriced lattes.. Fact: Fun fact: Etching dates back to the 15th century, proving that artists have been finding ways to make their work look fancy long before the hipster trend even existed..