MARCH 7, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Divorce Decrees Granted in Reno. Impact: The divorce of Mrs. E.P. Lawson-Johnston and Mrs. H.W. Welwood inadvertently led to the rise of modern reality TV, as producers realized that the drama of divorce made for better ratings than scripted soap operas. Thanks, ladies!. Fact: Divorce rates skyrocketed in the following decades, proving once and for all that marriage is just a really long audition for a reality show..
• Headline: Hitler's Fury Over British Accusations. Impact: Hitler's fury over British charges led to a series of diplomatic snubs that would ultimately inspire countless bad decisions, including the infamous 'mustache' trend that everyone would regret later.. Fact: Hitler once thought about starting a career in art. Thank goodness for humanity he chose politics instead!.
• Headline: Demilitarization of Saar Revealed. Impact: Germany's secret recognition of the Versailles Treaty provisions in Saar created a ripple effect that would eventually inspire countless conspiracy theories about secret meetings and hidden agendas—because who doesn't love a good cloak-and-dagger story?. Fact: The Versailles Treaty was so disliked that calling it 'Versailles' became a euphemism for 'a really bad idea.'.
• Headline: JAMAICANS WELCOME DUKE OF GLOUCESTER; 50,000 Cheer Him on Arrival -- He Finishes Second in Polo Pony Race.. Impact: The Duke of Gloucester's warm welcome in Jamaica led to a surge in tourism, which eventually resulted in overpriced rum and the concept of 'all-inclusive resorts'—because nothing says 'welcome' like a $300 a night stay!. Fact: Rum is so popular in Jamaica that they practically consider it a form of currency. Forget the dollar, just give me a bottle!.
• Headline: Resolution Asks Explanation of PWA Order. Impact: The resolution asking for an explanation of the PWA Order sparked endless bureaucratic discussions, leading to the establishment of a new committee which famously achieved nothing, proving once again that government inefficiency is timeless.. Fact: The PWA Order is often cited as one of the best examples of 'let's form a committee to talk about forming another committee.'.
• Headline: PARIS-MADRID TALKS FAIL.; French Trade Delegates Leave as Treaty Parley Is Deadlocked.. Impact: The deadlock in Paris-Madrid talks led to a historic misunderstanding that would inspire the phrase 'we'll just have to agree to disagree,' proving that sometimes diplomacy is just a game of who can hold their breath longer.. Fact: The phrase 'deadlock' was coined during a particularly long negotiation session. No one was ever found to have survived it..
• Headline: $1,000,000 in Pipe Orders.. Impact: The $1,000,000 in pipe orders marked the beginning of a boom in plumbing, ultimately leading to modern bathrooms—because nothing says 'luxury' like a toilet that actually works!. Fact: Plumbing is one of those underrated professions that keeps society running smoothly—yet no one ever throws a parade for plumbers. What gives?.
• Headline: MACHADO IS IN HOSPITAL.; Enters Paris Institution, Protected by Secret Service Men.. Impact: Machado's hospitalization, surrounded by Secret Service men, inadvertently laid the groundwork for future celebrity entourages, proving that even politicians need their personal bodyguards in a world where social media doesn't exist yet.. Fact: Being hospitalized with a Secret Service detail is the politician equivalent of being on a VIP list at a nightclub—except there's no dancing and a lot more paperwork..
• Headline: COUNTERFEIT PASSER SEIZED EATING NOTES; Detectives Pry Open His Jaws Before Evidence Is Chewed Up in 'Arrest-Proof' Plan.. Impact: The rivalry between the ambitious wives of Tsaldaris and Venizelos led to a series of gossip-fueled power plays in Greece, ultimately inspiring future generations of political spouses to get involved, thus proving that behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.. Fact: Political wives have been known to wield more power than their husbands, often leading to the phrase 'if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy' being coined in the political realm..
• Headline: Two Ambitious Women Back Rivals in Greece.