MARCH 5, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Britain's Armed Forces Expansion in 1935. Impact: Britain's decision to increase arms was the catalyst for the world’s most dramatic game of 'who can build the biggest army' that would eventually lead to the entire world getting into a slightly heated argument called World War II. Spoiler alert: it didn’t end well.. Fact: If only Britain had invested in yoga instead of arms, maybe they would have found some inner peace instead of escalating tensions. Namaste, anyone?.
• Headline: Murdered Man Found Alive in Missouri. Impact: The 'murdered' man being found alive created a ripple effect that made law enforcement question their investigative skills for decades. It was the beginning of a trend where everyone suddenly became interested in true crime stories and court dramas.. Fact: In Missouri, if you can dodge a bullet, you might just dodge a life sentence. Who knew survival skills could be so versatile?.
• Headline: THE PLUNGE DOWN.. Impact: The plunge down referenced in this headline could signify not just a fall in stock prices, but also the beginning of a long-standing trend of people dramatically overreacting to financial news. Thanks, panic culture!. Fact: In finance, plunging is often followed by diving. Just ask anyone who has ever tried to catch a falling stock!.
• Headline: Three Fined in Policy Drive.. Impact: Three people getting fined in a policy drive might seem minor, but it set the tone for future generations to add 'fine' as a common punishment. Suddenly, everyone was on the lookout for policy violations, like a game of Monopoly gone horribly wrong.. Fact: Fines for policy violations are just like taxes—nobody likes them, but they keep showing up unexpectedly. Surprise!.
• Headline: Higher Prices, Less Buying.. Impact: The headlines about higher prices and less buying could be seen as the early warning signs of a collective global meltdown in consumer confidence. It was the 'let’s all hoard toilet paper' moment before it was cool.. Fact: Higher prices and less buying is basically the economy's way of saying, 'Stop spending so much on avocado toast!'.
• Headline: Ex-Police Head's Badge Sold Here for Old Gold. Impact: The rise in scrap gold business due to an ex-police head's badge being sold for old gold indicates the beginning of people realizing they can cash in on anything. This paved the way for countless reality shows about hoarding junk.. Fact: In a world where everything is for sale, even a badge can turn into a goldmine. Who knew former police officers had such hidden talents?.
• Headline: Farley Replies to Senator Long's Charges. Impact: Farley denying charges is like a politician saying they made a mistake; it's bound to happen again. This event reinforced the idea that in politics, denial is just the first stage of grief.. Fact: Politicians denying connections is the political equivalent of a toddler claiming they didn’t eat the cookies they clearly have crumbs all over their face..
• Headline: Governmental Competition.. Impact: This headline about governmental competition set a precedent for future administrations to turn solving problems into a competitive sport. Spoiler alert: the people always lose.. Fact: Governmental competition is basically like watching two kids fight over who gets to eat the last cookie—lots of noise, not much productivity..