MARCH 4, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Fredheim Wins Olympic Ski Trials. Impact: Fredheim's victory ignited a national obsession with skiing, leading to an avalanche of ski resorts popping up everywhere, and ultimately resulted in a global shortage of hot cocoa. Coincidence? I think not.. Fact: Did you know that ski jumping was once considered a form of witchcraft? Fredheim clearly defied the odds and the witch hunters..
• Headline: Understanding Economic Costs in 1935. Impact: This headline sparked a nationwide panic about costs, causing accountants to develop a new form of yoga called 'Budget Asanas' to cope with their stress.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'What it will cost' has been used by parents since the dawn of time when they realize their kids want a pet? Spoiler: it costs a lot..
• Headline: Front Page 1 -- No Title. Impact: The clash between students and Red Shirts inadvertently led to the invention of ‘Bureaucratic Tango’—the only dance where you shuffle papers instead of feet.. Fact: Did you know that universities have been dodging issues since they were founded? It's basically their major..
• Headline: ORDERS GAMBLING INQUIRY; New Rochelle Safety Director Says Slot Machines Will Be Scrapped.. Impact: The slot machine seizure turned New Rochelle into a gambling black hole, leading to a secret underground casino where the only currency was Monopoly money.. Fact: Did you know that gambling is one of the oldest professions? Right after 'complaining about gambling.'.
• Headline: COLLEGES ACCUSED OF DODGING ISSUES; Father Delany Tells Newman Clubs Solutions of Our Vital Problems Are Not Taught.. Impact: Father Delaney's complaints about colleges led to the invention of a new major: 'Complaining Studies,' which is now the most popular degree in history.. Fact: Did you know that if colleges taught practical life skills, they'd probably have a 'How to Adult' 101 class? Spoiler alert: no one passes..
• Headline: Rutgers Radio Club Expands.. Impact: The expansion of the Rutgers Radio Club led to a mysterious increase in 'dad jokes' being broadcasted across the airwaves, which continues to haunt us today.. Fact: Did you know that radio clubs are the original influencers? They were making waves before it was cool—literally..
• Headline: Gets First Pages of March 4, '33.. Impact: The acquisition of the bound volume of newspapers marked the beginning of hoarding trends—leading to future generations thinking that the word 'archive' meant collecting every old pizza box.. Fact: Did you know that newspapers were once called 'the first social media'? They had all the gossip without the cat memes—what a time!.
• Headline: NESBITT TOPS TOWNSEND.; Second Seeded Player Beaten In Group II Squash Racquets.. Impact: Nesbitt's upset victory sent shockwaves through the squash community, leading to the invention of squash-themed protein shakes and an abundance of overly enthusiastic gym bros.. Fact: Did you know that squash is the only sport where you can simultaneously feel like a champion and a complete novice—often within the same game?.