FEBRUARY 10, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Forcing Early Blooms Indoors. Impact: In a parallel universe, forcing blooms indoors leads to a global obsession with indoor plants, resulting in the Great Indoor Jungle Crisis of 2045, when entire cities are overrun by houseplants demanding rights.. Fact: If you force enough blooms indoors, they might just take over your living room and start a petition for better lighting..
• Headline: Maine Hotels Embrace Hard Liquor Again. Impact: Maine's decision to legalize hard liquor in hotels mysteriously leads to the invention of the 'Hotel Bar Olympics' in 2040, where guests compete in chugging contests and cocktail-making skills.. Fact: 75 years without hard liquor? That’s like a dry spell in a desert—lots of thirst and questionable decisions when the floodgates finally open!.
• Headline: Chase National Bank's FHA Mortgage Plan. Impact: The introduction of FHA-backed mortgages causes a surge in homeownership, leading to an unexpected rise in DIY home improvement shows and the birth of ‘Fixer Upper’ cults in the 21st century.. Fact: Fun fact: Mortgages are just fancy loans that you agree to pay back for the next 30 years while living in a house that you can’t actually afford without them..
• Headline: A JOURNEY TO ALBANIA; Trip to Tiny Balkan Land Means Discomforts And Hazards. Impact: The discomforts of traveling to Albania lead to an underground travel blog movement, where adventurous souls write about their struggles, inadvertently boosting Albania’s tourism by 300% in 2045.. Fact: Traveling to Albania is so full of hazards, it’s basically the original ‘Survivor’ reality show—minus the million-dollar prize..
• Headline: LONDON'S WHITTINGTON STONE. Impact: The repair of Whittington Stone sparks a renaissance in historical preservation, inadvertently leading to time-travel tourism in the 22nd century, where people visit repaired stones instead of theme parks.. Fact: Whittington Stone is one of those places that could probably tell you more about history than your average history teacher ever could—if only it could talk!.
• Headline: FARM EXPORT CUT SHARP.; December Volume Was Only Half of 1917 Period.. Impact: The sharp cut in farm exports causes a global food shortage, leading to the rise of urban farming and hipster farmers markets, where kale becomes the new currency.. Fact: Farm exports being cut in half is basically nature's way of saying, 'Good luck, you're on your own!'.
• Headline: Complains Dress Models Are 'Forgotten Women'. Impact: The complaint about dress models being 'forgotten' leads to the creation of the Model Rights Movement, which in turn inspires a wave of fashion activism that sweeps the world in the 21st century.. Fact: Dress models being called 'forgotten women' sounds like the title of a tragic romance novel that no one wants to read, but here we are!.
• Headline: THE KING WHOSE GOD WAS MONEY; A Notable Biography of Leopold II of Belgium LEOPOLD THE UNLOVED. By Ludwig Bauer. Translated by Eden and Cedar Paul. 348 pp. Illustrated. Boston: Little. Brown & Co. $3.50. King Leopold II. Impact: King Leopold II's biography being published leads to a resurgence of interest in unsavory historical figures, prompting a bizarre trend of ‘villain-themed’ dinner parties in the 2020s.. Fact: Leopold II, or as we call him, ‘The King Who Made Bad Decisions’, is a reminder that history is often written by those who survive the chaos they create..
• Headline: NO "DOLE" FOR ANIMALS.. Impact: The disapproval of artificial feeding for animals leads to an unexpected animal rights movement, culminating in 2035's ‘Animal Freedom Day’, where pets are released for a day of unsupervised fun.. Fact: Not feeding animals artificially is like saying, 'Sorry, no snacks for you!' It’s a tough world for our furry friends..