FEBRUARY 9, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tragic Death of Dr. H.M. Davis. Impact: Dr. H.M. Davis's tragic demise led to an unexpected boom in the gas mask industry, as people suddenly realized that inhaling toxic gas is not the best self-care strategy. Who knew dentists could influence fashion trends?. Fact: Did you know that dentists are actually superheroes? They fight cavities by day and, apparently, struggle against asphyxiation by night. Talk about a dual life!.
• Headline: Mrs. Ely's Health Update. Impact: Mrs. Ely's condition improvement sparked a nationwide movement towards optimistic headlines, leading to an era where even the weather was reported as 'slightly cloudy with a chance of sunshine.'. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'improved condition' started as a euphemism for 'still breathing'? Progress, folks!.
• Headline: Condolences for Mayor's Brother Lost. Impact: The Mayor's brother's passing resulted in a widespread 'sympathy card' industry, proving that sometimes the only way to show you care is through overpriced paper.. Fact: In a shocking twist, condolence resolutions were actually the original form of social media. #RIPNotSoSecretly..
• Headline: DIET AS DISEASE CURB.; Dr. W.P. Murphy Says Ravages of Anemia Can Be Checked.. Impact: Dr. W.P. Murphy's dietary revelations inadvertently led to an explosion of fad diets, where people began to believe that eating only kale would somehow grant them immortality. Spoiler: it didn’t.. Fact: Did you know that 'curbing anemia' could also refer to limiting your intake of joy? Just eat the cake, people!.
• Headline: BOOKS OF THE TIMES. Impact: Zinsser's book about rats and lice sparked a bizarre fascination with vermin, leading to a brief but intense period where pet rats were considered the new 'it' accessory. Fashionistas everywhere were ecstatic.. Fact: Did you know that if you can survive a rat infestation, you can survive anything? Talk about resilience!.
• Headline: DIONNES, 15 OTHERS SUED FOR MILLION; Chicago Promoter Brings Federal Court Action as Couple Appear on Stage.. Impact: The lawsuit against the Dionnes for not showcasing their quintuplets at the World's Fair lead to a series of bizarre legal cases involving celebrity children, ultimately resulting in the popular phrase, 'showbiz kids are the worst.'. Fact: Did you know that the Dionne quintuplets had their own fan club? Yep, it was called 'We Want More Babies!'.
• Headline: SECOND ART SHOW BY CAMPIGLI OPENS; Exhibition at the Julien Levy Gallery Will Continue Through Feb. 25.. Impact: Campigli's art show introduced the concept of 'art appreciation' as a competitive sport, leading to heated debates over who could interpret a single brush stroke more pretentiously.. Fact: Did you know that art critics often get paid in opinions? It's a tough gig, but someone's gotta do it!.
• Headline: ELIZABETH IV. BAUM WED IN EMAIVU-EL; Married to Rabbi Perilman in Temple Here With Which He Now Is Associated.. Impact: Elizabeth IV. Baum's marriage to Rabbi Perilman led to a sudden surge in interfaith marriages, causing confusion among traditionalists who thought love was only for one religion at a time.. Fact: Did you know that weddings are just fancy parties where everyone pretends to like the food? Cheers to love!.
• Headline: L.I.U. QUINTET WINS 12TH IN ROW, 50-29; Blackbirds Play at Top Form to Beat George Washington on Brooklyn Court.. Impact: The L.I.U. quintet's victory became a rallying cry for underdogs everywhere, inspiring countless motivational speeches featuring the phrase 'Believe in your dreams!' – which mostly resulted in more failure, but hey, at least they believed!. Fact: Did you know that basketball players sometimes use the phrase 'but I tried' as a valid excuse for losing? Classic!.