JANUARY 26, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Historic Lee Medal Sells for $100. Impact: The sale of this medal sparked a bizarre chain of events where every auction house across the nation began to market 'heroic memorabilia' at inflated prices, inadvertently leading to the rise of the overpriced vintage spoons market. Who knew spoons could save the economy?. Fact: Did you know that this medal was once used as a doorstop by a very confused historical reenactor? True story..
• Headline: SEC Proposes Election Revisions to Congress. Impact: The SEC's recommendations led to a string of wildly confusing election processes that left nominees questioning if they were auditioning for a reality show instead of running for office. Spoiler alert: they weren't.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'nominating committee' was originally a typo for 'nominating comedy'? Makes you wonder what the election process really looks like behind the scenes..
• Headline: Lynch and Cummings Shine in Miami Golf. Impact: Lynch's victory at this golf tournament inspired millions to take up the sport, ultimately resulting in the invention of golf-related injuries, including 'golf elbow' and 'screaming at the TV while watching golf.'. Fact: Did you know that golf was originally played with stones until someone realized they could just use balls instead? Talk about an upgrade!.
• Headline: COAL TRUCKERS DEFENDED.; One of Them Explains the Majority Are Not Bootleggers.. Impact: The defense of coal truckers inadvertently led to a nationwide debate on whether truckers should wear capes or not, because if they're not superheroes, then what's the point?. Fact: Did you know that the majority of truckers actually prefer to be called 'transportation wizards' instead of 'bootleggers'? It sounds way cooler..
• Headline: REVOLUTION ENDED, ASSERTS CARDENAS; Mexican President Says Aims Are Accomplished -- Stops Swing to Left.. Impact: Cardenas's proclamation that the revolution was over turned out to be the catalyst for future revolutions that would occur in the most unexpected places, like a rural diner where a pie-eating contest turned into a coup. Pie is serious business.. Fact: Did you know that revolutions can happen over dinner? Just ask France about their National Feast Day!.
• Headline: GETS TERCENTENARY POST.; Albert R. Rogers to Direct Celebration Planned by Connecticut.. Impact: Rogers's appointment to direct the tercentenary celebration led to a series of increasingly extravagant party planning disasters, including a cake so large it collapsed under its own weight, causing a historical 'cake tsunami.'. Fact: Did you know that Connecticut is known as the Constitution State because it once had a very confusing agreement that people still argue about? It's all in the fine print..
• Headline: HOOVER PRAISES PAYNE.; Georgetown University Head to i Speak at Funeral Today,. Impact: Hoover's praise for Payne at his funeral led to an unexpected rise in ghost tours across the nation, proving once again that even in death, you can market anything.. Fact: Did you know that funerals were once considered a perfect opportunity to pitch your latest business idea? Talk about a captive audience!.
• Headline: Miss Perkins's Bath.. Impact: Miss Perkins's bathroom controversy inspired a nationwide trend of bathroom renovations that have led to competitive bathroom design shows. Yes, you heard right, the ‘Bathroom Wars’ are real.. Fact: Did you know that bathrooms used to be communal and called 'privies'? You can thank the invention of doors for all the bathroom privacy we enjoy today!.
• Headline: CONCERT BY BANKERS UNDER NEW DIRECTOR; Frank Kasschau Conducts Glee Club at the Town Hall in Its 56th Year.. Impact: This concert by bankers signaled the start of a new trend where financial institutions attempted to humanize themselves through music, resulting in a series of cringe-worthy music videos that will haunt us for generations.. Fact: Did you know that bankers once tried to form a band called 'The Loan Rangers'? They never quite made it past the first gig, but the name is legendary!.