JANUARY 10, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Gold Bloc Negotiations Begin in 1935. Impact: If only America had gone into that conference uncrippled, we might have had a world where gold was the ultimate currency and everyone spoke in glittering metaphors. Instead, we got the gold standard and a whole lot of inflation. Thanks, Cummings!. Fact: Fun fact: 'Gold Rush' was not just an event, but also a terrible 1970s movie. Spoiler alert: it didn't involve any actual gold, just a lot of bad acting!.
• Headline: Final Farewell to Joseph Keany. Impact: Joseph Keany's death led a few prominent Catholic laymen to reflect on the fragility of life, which in turn inspired at least three mediocre novels about love and loss in the 20th century. So, you're welcome, literature!. Fact: Did you know that railroad attorneys were once the rock stars of the legal world? At least, that’s what they tell themselves at family gatherings..
• Headline: Witnesses on Ile de France. Impact: If that Johnson hadn't been on the Ile de France, we might have avoided a whole series of unfortunate events involving bad cabaret acts and questionable seafood choices. Thanks a lot, Johnson!. Fact: Fun fact: 'Ile de France' is not just a place, it's also a reminder that some people have more exciting vacations than others—especially when you’re stuck at home watching reruns..
• Headline: SUFFERING NOT IN VAIN.; Depression Is Found to Have Encouraged a Broader View of Some Things.. Impact: The broader view towards corporate management after this depression inadvertently led to the rise of corporate jargon. Buzzwords were born, and now we have meetings about meetings. Truly a tragedy of epic proportions.. Fact: Did you know that 'synergy' was once a term used only by mathematicians before corporate America adopted it? Now, it’s in every boardroom lexicon, right alongside 'pivot' and 'circle back.'.
• Headline: National Arts Club Opens Show.. Impact: The opening of the National Arts Club show paved the way for the Instagram influencer culture. Suddenly, everyone thought they were an artist because they could filter their brunch photos. Thanks for nothing, art!. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more pretentious than an art exhibition is an art exhibition where wine is served. Because nothing says 'I appreciate art' like a $12 glass of mediocre rosé..
• Headline: EXJUSTICE HOLMES APPRAISES 50 YEARS; 'Of Unusual Significance,' He Writes in Anniversary Number of Law Quarterly Review.. Impact: Justice Holmes appraising 50 years of significance led to the creation of 'Law Quarterly Review: The Greatest Hits.' A collection of legal rulings that no one reads but everyone pretends to understand.. Fact: Did you know that O.W. Holmes had such a profound impact on law that he could probably sue you for even thinking about disputing his foreword? Now that's power!.
• Headline: 5th Av. Association Delays Poll.. Impact: The delay in the poll resulted in endless debates about transit taxes that would be talked about for decades. It’s like the time you postponed a decision on dinner and ended up eating leftovers for a week.. Fact: Fun fact: The Fifth Avenue Association sounds like a fancy club, but really it’s just a bunch of people trying to figure out if they can tax your subway ride to pay for their next fancy dinner..
• Headline: Schwietering Gifts to Public.. Impact: Schwietering's gift to the public might have inspired future generations of philanthropists to think they could buy goodwill with tax appraisals. And thus, the era of altruistic tax dodging began.. Fact: Did you know that every time someone donates to charity, a tax accountant does a little dance? Okay, maybe they don’t, but they should—it's their one chance to have fun!.
• Headline: Wireless Operator Found Dead.. Impact: The wireless operator's untimely demise led to at least three conspiracy theories about secret messages being sent from the afterlife. Spoiler alert: they were all really just cat memes.. Fact: Fun fact: In the world of wireless communication, a 'dead operator' is not just a sad headline; it's a reminder that even technology needs a break sometimes—preferably with a good WiFi signal..
• Headline: GENEVA TO FILL POSTS.; Americans Are Expected to Get Six Positions in Labor Office.. Impact: The expectation that Americans would fill six positions in the Labor Office inadvertently set off a comedic trend of Americans trying to 'work' in foreign offices, leading to disastrous cultural misunderstandings and too many awkward elevator rides.. Fact: Did you know that getting a job in international labor often involves more paperwork than an IRS audit? Because nothing says 'I'm qualified' like a mountain of bureaucracy!.