DECEMBER 31, 1934

Full News Archive

• Headline: Honesty Will Overcome Hard Times. Impact: Dr. Sargent’s proclamation led to an unexpected surge in people confidently declaring their honesty, resulting in an avalanche of awkward confessions at dinner parties for decades. Thank you for that, Dr. Sargent.. Fact: Honesty might be the best policy, but it's also the quickest way to lose friends at a potluck..
• Headline: The Value of Growth in 1934. Impact: The growth gauges introduced in this era accidentally led to the invention of the 'growth mindset,' which in turn enabled people to justify their questionable life choices with a sprinkle of optimism.. Fact: They say growth is essential, but have you ever seen a weed thrive in a garden? Just saying..
• Headline: Wise Men Inspire Christian Action in Turmoil. Impact: Dr. Tilton's call to emulate the Wise Men sparked a modern trend where people started dressing as Biblical characters for Halloween, forever confusing trick-or-treaters and the neighbors alike.. Fact: The Wise Men followed the star, but I guess they didn’t see the GPS coming..
• Headline: Thurston Places First in Run.. Impact: W Thurston's victory in the run inspired countless athletes to chase after unrealistic dreams and medals, contributing to the global obsession with marathons and the development of knee braces.. Fact: Running: the only activity where people willingly subject themselves to sweat and chafing for a medal that costs less than a Happy Meal..
• Headline: PIG RACE CHEERED IN BARNYARD RODEO; College Students Compete in Bizarre Contests at the Bronxville Riding Club. MILKING EVENT INCLUDED Eating Doughnuts on Horseback Without Use of Hands Also Furnishes a Few Thrills.. Impact: The bizarre contests at the Bronxville Riding Club were so entertaining that they accidentally spurred a new wave of reality TV shows about farm life, leading to a cultural obsession with barns and bizarre competitions.. Fact: Nothing says 'thrill' quite like trying to eat doughnuts on horseback. Who needs the Olympics?.
• Headline: Money Rate Stiffens n Paris.. Impact: The stiff money rates in Paris sent ripples through the global economy, leading to a trend of people hoarding cash under their mattresses. This ultimately paved the way for the great 'Where's my money?' panic of the late 20th century.. Fact: They say money can’t buy happiness, but it can rent a really nice apartment in Paris!.
• Headline: ROSALIE EDWARDS ENGAGED TO MARRY; Philadelphia Girl to Be Bride of Captain Ferdinando C. d'Andria, Royal Italian Navy.. Impact: Rosalie Edwards’ engagement sparked a nationwide trend of royal naval-themed weddings, causing a surge in nautical decor and a spike in the sales of anchor-shaped cake toppers.. Fact: An engagement ring is just a fancy way of saying 'I promise to tolerate your snoring for life.'.
• Headline: Nelson -Spahr.. Impact: The engagement of Nelson and Spahr led to the 'couple's name' phenomenon, where every couple from that point on would be forced to create a cringe-worthy portmanteau of their last names. Thanks a lot, Nelson and Spahr!. Fact: Couple names are like hashtags for relationships. #NoOneAskedForThis.
• Headline: Ship Battles Atlantic Gale to Answer SOS Of Greek Freighter Disabled and Leaking. Impact: The ship's heroic battle against the Atlantic gale not only saved the Greek freighter but also inspired a wave of movies about heroic sea rescues, leading to an entire genre dedicated to dramatic oceanic adventures. Ahoy, Hollywood!. Fact: SOS: the original 'send help' text message, long before smartphones made it too easy..