DECEMBER 24, 1934

Full News Archive

• Headline: Irish Americans Blanked in 1934. Impact: The Irish Americans' blanking at the games led to a secret society of disgruntled fans forming in a pub in Dublin, which eventually resulted in the world's first ever competitive drinking league. Who knew disappointment could fuel such athleticism?. Fact: Did you know that the Irish are more likely to raise a pint than a protest? It's a cultural thing..
• Headline: Tugwell Advocates for Collectivism in 1934. Impact: Tugwell's appeals for collectivism ignited a secret underground network of 'best people' who formed a club called 'The Smarty Pants Society,' where they discussed how to be better than everyone else—clearly a recipe for world peace.. Fact: It's funny how 'the best people' have been trying to fix social reform since the dawn of time, yet here we are still waiting for them to figure it out..
• Headline: Prince Michael's Christmas Visit to Mother. Impact: Prince Michael's visit to his mother inspired a series of royal family reality shows that would make today's Kardashians look like amateurs. Thanks, Mom, for the eternal family drama.. Fact: Did you know that royal visits are basically just glorified family reunions? Pass the crown roast!.
• Headline: ROPER CITES SPURT IN BUSINESS LINES; Commerce Report to Roosevelt Lists Ten Fields in Which Recovery Has Advanced. CONCRETE PROGRESS SEEN Rail Traffic Is Improved but Deficit Remains -- Foreign Trade Expanded in Year. ROPER CITES SPURT IN BUSINESS LINES. Impact: Roper's business report kickstarted a bizarre trend of economists dressing like rockstars, believing that flashy outfits would inspire actual economic recovery. Spoiler alert: it didn’t.. Fact: Apparently, wearing sunglasses indoors was the real key to recovery. Who knew 'cool' could be so profitable?.
• Headline: YALE'S TEAM TIES FOR CHESS HONORS; Tops Harvard by 3-1 and Will Meet Princeton in Play-Off for H.Y.P.D. Title.. Impact: Yale's chess team tying for honors sparked an intense rivalry that would inspire a series of chess-themed romantic comedies where nerds find love over rooks and pawns. Love truly is a game of strategy.. Fact: Chess: the only game where you can say 'checkmate' and still end up single..
• Headline: CHESS TITLE TO KUPCHIK.; Defeats Kashdan in Play-Off for Manhattan Club Honors.. Impact: Kupchik's chess victory over Kashdan started a secret underground chess fighting ring, where the stakes were high and the moves were even higher. Talk about a checkered past!. Fact: In chess, every pawn has the potential to become a queen. Just like in life, but with less drama… usually..
• Headline: Employment Suggestion.. Impact: The employment suggestion meeting turned into a national trend where people started suggesting jobs for every pet they owned, thus creating a new era of 'paw-sitive' employment opportunities.. Fact: Did you know that dogs have a higher chance of getting hired than some humans? Tail-wagging resumes are in!.
• Headline: Brewsters Back From England.. Impact: The Brewsters' return from England ignited a craze for transatlantic travel, leading to the invention of ridiculously overpriced airplane snacks. Thanks, Brewsters, for the overpriced peanuts!. Fact: Did you know that when traveling, 90% of your luggage is just snacks? It's a scientific fact..