DECEMBER 17, 1934

Full News Archive

• Headline: Utility Attacks in 1934. Impact: This event led to a nationwide shortage of electricity, prompting the invention of solar-powered toaster ovens in the 80s. Who knew breakfast would be revolutionized by utility attacks?. Fact: Utility companies were so shocked that they hired psychic consultants to predict future attacks. Spoiler: they still got blindsided..
• Headline: Bank Interest Rate Cut in 1934. Impact: Lowering interest rates led to a decade of financial wizardry where everyone thought they could be stock market gurus. Unfortunately, some just ended up with a degree in 'Financial Regret.'. Fact: The last time interest rates were this low, people thought it was a good idea to invest in Beanie Babies. Spoiler alert: it wasn't..
• Headline: Tragic Couple Found in Gas-Filled Home. Impact: This tragedy highlighted the dangers of gas leaks, leading to stricter regulations on home safety. It’s sad, but sometimes it takes a tragedy to spark change.. Fact: Gas leaks are often silent but deadly – much like that one friend who always has unsolicited advice..
• Headline: Jersey Veterans Ask Bonus.. Impact: Veterans' persistent requests for bonuses led to the establishment of several compensation laws. It's amazing how a little pressure can lead to big changes in policy… or just big headaches.. Fact: Veterans asking for bonuses is as traditional as New Jersey's obsession with pork roll and diners..
• Headline: YUGOSLAV BRIDGE OPENED.; Structure Over Save Serves Motor Car Traffic -- 1,500 Feet Long.. Impact: The opening of this bridge triggered a wave of infrastructure projects across Europe, ensuring that tourists would have many more opportunities to take selfies with bridges they can't pronounce.. Fact: Bridge engineers have one of the highest rates of optimism. They think every bridge they build will outlast civilization itself!.
• Headline: Country Club Elects.. Impact: The election of a new president at the Fenimore Country Club sparked a series of 'Who has the best golf swing?' competitions, forever altering the landscape of country club politics.. Fact: Country club elections are the only place where the term 'lawn care' has a deeper meaning than just grass..
• Headline: NEW POLICY ON WAR SEEN FOR AMERICA; Neutrality Study Causes Speculation on Possible Shift From Kellogg Pact Plan. HANDS-OFF COURSE HINTED Departure From View That We Could Not Stay Out of Major Conflict Indicated.. Impact: This shift in policy created a ripple effect throughout the decades, leading to a series of conflicts where everyone wondered if America was ever really hands-off. Spoiler: not really.. Fact: The Kellogg Pact was a great idea until someone decided to throw a ‘War is Over (If You Want It)’ party and forgot to invite all the countries involved..
• Headline: Mrs. Yost Quits Republican Post. Impact: Mrs. Yost's resignation triggered a series of power shifts within the Republican Party, eventually leading to the rise of candidates who were more concerned about Twitter followers than actual followers.. Fact: In politics, resignations are like snacks at a party: there’s always someone waiting to grab the opportunity..
• Headline: TESTS FOR ART AWARDS.; American Academy In Rome to Receive Entries Till Feb. 1,. Impact: The annual art awards led to a renaissance of creativity, inspiring artists to create works that would confuse future generations. Thanks for nothing, modern art!. Fact: Art competitions are the only place where you can be evaluated on how well you splatter paint on a canvas and still call it 'expressionism.'.