DECEMBER 16, 1934

Full News Archive

• Headline: Revisiting the Treaty of Versailles. Impact: The softening of the Treaty of Versailles led Germany to brew resentment for decades, which eventually gave rise to an artist named Adolf who was really bad at drawing. If only they had stuck to their guns, perhaps the world could have been spared a lot of angst and bad history classes.. Fact: Did you know that the Treaty of Versailles was so unpopular in Germany that it could have run for president in the 1932 elections? Not that it would have made a better leader than the alternatives..
• Headline: Foreign Service Changes in 1934. Impact: C.A. Day's return to Rome led to a series of diplomatic dinners that resulted in the invention of pasta diplomacy, proving that sometimes, the best treaties are signed over a plate of spaghetti.. Fact: Did you know that 'C.A. Day' is short for 'Culinary Ambassador Day'? Just kidding, but wouldn’t that make international relations a lot tastier?.
• Headline: McAdoo Is Recovering Rapidly.. Impact: McAdoo's recovery led to his eventual return to politics, which in turn inspired a new generation of voters to remain apathetic about their choices, ensuring the cycle of mediocrity continued.. Fact: Did you know that recovering rapidly can sometimes be a euphemism for 'I really need to get back to work before they realize I’ve been slacking'? Classic!.
• Headline: CLASH IN AFRICA FEARED IN GENEVA; Abyssinia Accuses Italians of Attacking Surveying Party 60 Miles From Frontier. CHALLENGE BY ROME SEEN Possibility That It May Refuse to Recognize Jurisdiction of League Causes Alarm. CLASH IN AFRICA ALARMS GENEVA. Impact: This event set off alarm bells that resonated through the League of Nations, eventually leading to the realization that just because something is organized doesn’t mean it’s effective. Spoiler alert: It wasn't.. Fact: Did you know that the League of Nations was like that friend who always plans things but never actually executes them? They had good intentions, but let’s just say, execution wasn't their strong suit..
• Headline: PAY DENIED TO PATROLMAN; Supreme Court Upsets Ruling on Policeman Who Was Suspended.. Impact: The denial of pay led to a series of protests that caused a chain reaction of legal debates, eventually resulting in the phrase 'better to ask for forgiveness than permission' being adopted by law enforcement everywhere.. Fact: Did you know that denying pay is a great way to motivate someone? Just ask any disgruntled employee! They'll be sure to tell you about it..
• Headline: FRENCH NAME FOR TURK.. Impact: The naming of Dr. Tewfik Rushdi Arras Bey could have led to a global trend of confusing names that resulted in a whole generation of people struggling with pronunciation—very much like the situation with 'quinoa'.. Fact: Did you know that naming someone after a French town is a great way to ensure they never go unnoticed in a crowd? Just shout 'Arras!' and see who turns around..
• Headline: MARK WAYS IN THE CITY; Directional Signs Show Routes Through New York -- Other News. Impact: The introduction of directional signs led to an explosion of tourists wandering aimlessly around New York, all while insisting they know how to use a map, thus keeping the local hotdog vendors in business.. Fact: Did you know that New Yorkers have a secret superpower? It's the ability to ignore directional signs while insisting they know the best route, which usually ends up being the long way around..