NOVEMBER 5, 1934

Full News Archive

• Headline: Honored by Maine University. Impact: Stephens’ little honor from Maine University inadvertently kickstarted the trend of universities giving out awards for literally anything, leading to the eventual creation of the 'Most Enthusiastic Coffee Drinker' award.. Fact: Universities have been handing out honorary degrees for ages. So, if you ever feel underqualified, just remember: you could be just one awkward speech away from being a 'Doctor of Philosophy' in something you know nothing about!.
• Headline: Exploring Democracy and Its Contrast. Impact: Ed's contrast with democracy sparked countless debates that led to the modern art of political memes. Who knew that political philosophy could be summarized in a cat photo?. Fact: The term 'democracy' comes from the Greek word 'demos,' meaning 'the people,' and 'kratos,' meaning 'power.' So, in theory, if you're not participating, you’re just a ‘demos’ taking a nap!.
• Headline: Sales Taxes.. Impact: The proposed sales tax led to a nationwide obsession with receipts, ultimately giving rise to the ‘Coupon Clipping Olympics’ – a sport where no one actually wins.. Fact: The first sales tax in the U.S. was introduced in 1933 during the Great Depression. So, you know, nothing says 'we're in a crisis' quite like taxing the very stuff people need to survive..
• Headline: Physicians' Fees.. Impact: The discussions around physicians' fees sparked a wave of medical advice on the internet, leading to an explosion of self-proclaimed 'health experts' who never set foot in a medical school.. Fact: The word 'doctor' comes from the Latin 'docere,' which means 'to teach.' So really, if your doctor isn’t teaching you about your health, are they even a doctor?.
• Headline: M'ADOO TO SUPPORT 'PARTY' IN HIS STATE; Sinclair Forces Hail Speech in Arizona as Meaning Senator Backs 'EPIC' Chief. POLICE GUARDING MERRIAM Haight, in Los Angeles Wind-Up, Asserts He Is a Progressive 'Between 2 Extremes.' M'ADOO TO SUPPORT CALIFORNIA 'PARTY'. Impact: M'ADOO's support for the California party inadvertently created a ripple effect that led to every politician needing to publicly endorse the most popular Instagram influencer of the day.. Fact: In politics, endorsements can sometimes feel like high school popularity contests. Just remember: the more followers you have, the more likely you are to become a 'leader' of sorts, regardless of your actual qualifications..
• Headline: FARLEY FACES FIRE OF JESTING FRIARS; Proves He Can 'Take It' When Quips Are Hurled at Dinner Given in His Honor. HIS MANY POSTS LISTED Which Causes Gracie Allen to Applaud Giving Meal to 'Poor Man Who Can't Hold a Job.'. Impact: Farley's ability to take jokes at dinner became a benchmark for all future politicians, leading to the infamous 'Roast of the Year' awards that no one asked for but everyone watched.. Fact: The tradition of roasting dates back to ancient times, where people would literally roast meat and their friends. Thankfully, that’s evolved into just roasting people’s careers and questionable decisions..
• Headline: SCHEDEMAN ACTS TO BELIE WHISPERS; He Enters Wisconsin Campaign Actively to Show He Is Not Incapacitated. HIS LEG WAS AMPUTATED No III Effects Apparent From Operation Month Ago -- Three Parties Voice Optimism.. Impact: Schmedeman's campaign against whispers about his health inspired a whole genre of political thrillers, where the hero always wins, despite losing limbs. Talk about a plot twist!. Fact: Amputations have been around since ancient times, but the first recorded amputation was from 31,000 years ago. So, if you ever feel down about your life choices, just remember: at least you’re not a caveman with a missing limb trying to figure out how to write a blog..
• Headline: CRITICISM IN GERMANY.; Economists Find Fault With Currency Policy Here.. Impact: The criticism of Germany's currency policy became a pivotal moment, setting the stage for every economist to later blame their personal woes on the global economy – because who doesn’t love a scapegoat?. Fact: Currency policy can be as confusing as trying to explain the plot of a Christopher Nolan movie. Just when you think you understand it, they throw in a time travel element and you're left questioning your life choices..