OCTOBER 19, 1934

Full News Archive

• Headline: Women Rally to Support Miss Couch. Impact: If Miss Couch hadn't been aided by those women, who knows? She might have started a new movement for women's rights that would have altered the course of history, or maybe just made better cookies.. Fact: It's ironic that women organizing for a candidate's success has been happening longer than many of us have been alive. Still waiting for that 'Men Organize to Support a Woman' headline, though..
• Headline: U.S. Golfers and British Tennis Stars Depart. Impact: As British tennis stars set sail, they might have inadvertently inspired future tennis greats to take a long ocean cruise instead of just a flight, leading to a surge in maritime tennis tournaments. Ahoy, love!. Fact: Sailing and tennis: two activities that have nothing in common except for their ability to cause sunburns and awkward tan lines..
• Headline: France Seeks Extradition of Ustashi Leaders. Impact: France's extradition request might have inadvertently sparked a secret alliance with Italy to keep all the troublemakers in their own backyard, leading to a competition for who can have the most dramatic courtroom battles.. Fact: Extradition requests are like asking your neighbor to return your lawnmower; it's rarely a simple process and usually involves a lot of awkward conversations..
• Headline: CARTERET FETES MEDWICK; More Than 500 Attend Dinner to Cardinals' Outfielder.. Impact: Medwick's hometown celebration could have inspired the idea of hometown heroes, birthing an entire industry of 'local celebrity' culture that would eventually lead to reality TV. Thanks a lot, Medwick!. Fact: Feting a local athlete is just a fancy way of saying, 'We have nothing better to celebrate, so let's throw a party for this guy who can hit a ball.'.
• Headline: NEGRO ADMITS KILLING WAR COMRADE OVER $2; Tells Court He Was Intoxicated When He Shot Friend Over Money to Play Lottery.. Impact: This tragic incident over a mere $2 could have spurred countless public service announcements about the dangers of intoxication and gambling, ultimately leading to the invention of the phrase, 'Don't be a fool; think before you shoot.'. Fact: It’s fascinating how a mere two dollars can lead to such a heavy consequence. Clearly, the lottery was more than just a game; it was a life choice..
• Headline: SHOWS FOOD PRICE RISE.; Republican Circular Asserts Gain in Year Is 50 to 153 Per Cent.. Impact: The Republican circular about food prices could have been the catalyst for a nationwide panic, leading to a hoarding spree that resulted in the Great Toilet Paper Crisis of the 2020s. Thanks for the heads-up, 1933!. Fact: Food price discussions have been around since the dawn of time, yet somehow, we still haven’t figured out how to make it affordable for everyone. Progress!.
• Headline: 21 Planes Prepare for Great Race; To Start for Australia Tomorrow; Pilots and Mechanics Work Feverishly on Machines at English Airdrome -- Mollisons' Craft and Another Are Damaged -American Ones, Overweight, Have to Cut Fuel. RACE TO AUSTRALIA BEGINS TOMORROW. Impact: The Great Race could have inspired a series of reality shows that pit pilots against each other in epic cross-continental challenges, leading to the eventual birth of ‘The Amazing Race: Aviation Edition.’. Fact: In a twist of fate, this race could have made pilots the original influencers, long before we had social media. #FlyingFame.
• Headline: Drop in Trade Unionists Is Continuing in Britain. Impact: The continuing drop in trade unionists in Britain could have led to a secret society of union loyalists who meet in basements to reminisce about the 'good old days,' forever plotting their comeback.. Fact: Trade union membership has been dropping faster than the price of a used car; maybe they should consider a rebranding campaign or a flashy new logo to attract the youth!.
• Headline: LABOR OPENS FIGHT AGAINST 5 SENATORS; A. F. of L. Circularizes Unions to Oppose Hebert, Fess, Reed, Hatfield and Walcott.. Impact: The A.F. of L. circular against the five senators could have sparked a nationwide trend of unions opposing politicians, leading to a new sport where unions compete in political sabotage. Who needs the Olympics when you have this?. Fact: Labor unions opposing senators is like a high school rivalry; it’s loud, dramatic, and everyone pretends it’s about something important when really, it’s just about who gets the last slice of pizza..