OCTOBER 18, 1934

Full News Archive

• Headline: Simplicity in Advertising Matters. Impact: This article on simplicity in advertising led to the eventual rise of minimalism in marketing. Had advertisers not embraced the power of simplicity, we might still be bombarded with ads that look like a 5-year-old's finger painting contest. Fact: Did you know that before this, ads were so cluttered that many people thought they were reading modern art critiques instead? Who knew simplicity could be revolutionary?.
• Headline: Miss Betty Parsons Engaged to B Parsons. Impact: Betty Parsons' engagement sparked a nationwide trend of over-the-top wedding announcements, leading to an industry obsessed with wedding planners and Pinterest boards. Thanks, Betty, for making it harder for the rest of us to just elope. Fact: Fun fact: Engagements have become so elaborate since then that a simple 'I do' now requires a PowerPoint presentation.
• Headline: Breakthrough Vaccine for Peritonitis Announced. Impact: The discovery of a vaccine for peritonitis potentially saved countless lives, but let's be real, it also led to the invention of awkward small talk about vaccines at every family gathering since. Fact: Did you know that before this vaccine, people were just rolling the dice with surgery? It's a miracle they didn't all end up in a horror film.
• Headline: PROTEST OF HYLAN SENT TO ROOSEVELT; Campaign Worker Asks the President to Put Curb on 'Unfair' Politicians.. Impact: Hylan's protest against unfair politicians raised eyebrows and started a ripple of political activism, which eventually led to the rise of grassroots campaigns. Bravo, Hylan, for initiating what would become an eternal game of political whack-a-mole. Fact: Funny enough, the only thing more unfair than politicians is the fact that they still get to keep their jobs after all this.
• Headline: 356 PAINTINGS HUNG IN CARNEGIE SHOW; International Exhibition to Open in Pittsburgh at Institute Tonight. 296 ARTISTS PARTICIPATE Canvases by British, German and French Competitors Are Particularly Encouraging.. Impact: The Carnegie show set the stage for the art world to become a battleground of egos, leading to future artists being way more concerned about their Instagram likes than their actual talent. Thanks, Pittsburgh!. Fact: Did you know that this exhibition was the precursor to art fairs, where you can now buy a painting that costs more than your house? Progress!.
• Headline: Straus to Attend Poincare Rites.. Impact: Straus's attendance at Poincare's funeral highlighted the interconnectedness of global leaders, leading to a long line of diplomatic funerals that became more about networking than grieving. Nothing says 'respect' like a well-timed handshake. Fact: In a fun twist, attending funerals became the original networking event. Forget business cards, just bring a sympathy bouquet!.
• Headline: Moses Protests Assessment.. Impact: Moses's tax assessment protest could have sparked a revolution in tax policies, but instead, it became just another case of 'who can shout the loudest to get out of paying taxes.' Spoiler alert: they all lose. Fact: Did you know that tax assessments are basically the adult version of being told you can't have dessert until you finish your vegetables? No one likes it, but we all have to deal with it.
• Headline: URUGUAY JAILS OFFICER.; Colonel Charged With Graft in Arms -- Peru to Make Inquiry.. Impact: Colonel Viola's arrest for graft in arms purchases set off a chain reaction, inspiring future whistleblowers to come forward with even more outrageous allegations, because why not? Scandals make for good TV. Fact: Did you know that in the arms business, graft is just the tip of the iceberg? It's like a thrilling spy novel, but with less intrigue and more paperwork.