SEPTEMBER 15, 1934

Full News Archive

• Headline: Business Leaders Discuss Tax Innovations. Impact: The alternate tax proposals led to a chain reaction of tax loopholes so complex that even seasoned accountants needed a PhD just to understand them. This eventually resulted in the rise of tax evasion as a sport in the 21st century.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more complicated than tax proposals is trying to understand a toddler’s logic on why they shouldn’t eat vegetables?.
• Headline: Reception for H.M.S. Dragon Officers. Impact: The British naval officers' reception sparked an unexpected naval arms race in the local tea-drinking community, leading to the invention of the world's first 'battle ships'—tea boats that could carry more biscuits than ever before.. Fact: Fun fact: Historically, a tea party can escalate into a naval battle if someone accidentally spills Earl Grey on a naval officer's uniform..
• Headline: Italian King Honors Martinez. Impact: King Martinez's honor led to an unprecedented wave of Italian-American cultural exchange, resulting in the invention of pizza topped with everything from spaghetti to tiramisu—because why not?. Fact: Did you know that the Grand Cordon of the Crown of Italy is basically the Italian version of a participation trophy?.
• Headline: ARMY AGAIN FACES BUILDING PROBLEM; With Only Three Regulars and Few Replacements Football Outlook Is Unsettled. CONFIDENCE IN DAVIDSON Presence of Buckler and Stancook in Back Field Offsets Weakness in the Line.. Impact: The army's football problem led to the establishment of the first professional football league, where players were paid in snacks instead of cash, significantly altering the future of sports nutrition.. Fact: Did you know that the last time an army tackled a football problem, they accidentally declared war on snack time?.
• Headline: AMERICAN DEAD IN ALPS.; Pennsylvanian's Body Found With Those of Six Other Climbers.. Impact: The tragic discovery of the American climbers in the Alps led to stricter safety regulations in mountaineering that ironically increased the number of people trying to climb Everest just to say they did it before it was 'cool.'. Fact: It’s interesting to think that climbing a mountain can lead to death, but binge-watching shows about it is perfectly safe—unless you count the risk of snacks running out..