AUGUST 24, 1934

Full News Archive

• Headline: Handball Doubles Championship Results. Impact: The triumph of Hahn and Dunwoody sparked a global handball craze, leading to the invention of competitive handball-themed coffee shops where people discuss the merits of backhand serves over lattes.. Fact: Handball: the sport that makes you realize how out of shape you actually are while simultaneously making you question why you left the couch..
• Headline: Recovery Party Leadership Transition. Impact: This political shuffle brewed a storm of indecision that would eventually lead to the creation of a reality TV show about dysfunctional political parties. Spoiler alert: no one wins.. Fact: Political parties: where the only thing more inflated than the egos are the promises made during campaigns..
• Headline: Liquor Dealers' Historic Organization. Impact: The organization of liquor dealers paved the way for the invention of the happy hour. Little did they know, they were also laying the groundwork for countless regrets the next morning.. Fact: Organized liquor dealers: because someone has to supply the drinks for all those ‘we should totally catch up’ conversations that never happen..
• Headline: STEPHEN H. HORGAN, INVENTOR,80, WEDS; Man Who Discovered Halftone Process and Miss Delia van Houten Are Married. CEREMONY HELD IN NYACK Bride Is a Descendant of Early Dutch Settlers -- Friends for More Than 60 Years.. Impact: Their marriage marked the beginning of a legacy that would inspire future generations to believe in love and also in the power of friendship that lasts longer than most Hollywood marriages.. Fact: Stephen H. Horgan: proving that even inventors can find love, especially after decades of friendship—who knew halftones could be romantic?.
• Headline: $100,000 Asked for Injuries.. Impact: This lawsuit set off a chain reaction of legal battles, eventually contributing to the rise of personal injury law firms that advertise late-night on TV, changing the face of American media forever.. Fact: Injuries can be costly, especially when you realize how much you’ve spent on lawyers instead of actually recovering..
• Headline: COLUMBUS PARK AREA ON EAST SIDE DOUBLED; Improvement Will Provide More Space for Adult Recreation -- 40 Assigned to Project.. Impact: The doubling of Columbus Park led to an explosion of adult recreational activities, inadvertently giving rise to the mid-life crisis bike riding trend, because why not?. Fact: Adult recreation: where the only thing getting a workout is your social media feed with photos of you looking surprisingly fit..
• Headline: ' Old-Fashioned Girl' of 72 Walks 30 Miles to Home. Impact: This remarkable trek inspired a whole new trend in endurance walking, leading to the eventual rise of reality shows where contestants compete in absurdly long walks for fame and likes.. Fact: 30 miles at 72 years old? Talk about a power move! The rest of us struggle to walk from the couch to the fridge..
• Headline: BACON CARDS A 75 TO WIN GOLF MEDAL; Runner-Up in State Amateur Leads Field in Sagamore Club Invitation Play.. Impact: Bacon Cards’ victory ignited a frenzy of bacon-themed golf tournaments, eventually leading to the creation of bacon-scented golf balls. Yes, that’s a real thing now.. Fact: Winning a golf medal is great, but winning it with bacon on your mind? Now that’s a true accomplishment..
• Headline: A Plea for Sculptures.. Impact: This plea led to a nationwide appreciation for the arts, inspiring countless hipsters to take up sculpture as a hobby, resulting in an uptick of questionable public installations.. Fact: Sculptures: the perfect way to express deep thoughts or just confuse everyone with what appears to be a giant pile of junk..
• Headline: DILLINGER GUNNER, VAN METER, SLAIN BY ST. PAUL POLICE; Sixth of Gang Is Felled by Bullets in Chase Into Alley 3 Blocks From Capitol. HIS FACE LIFTED, HAIR DYED Pockets Yield $923 and Pistol, Fired Twice -- Woman's Kin Put Officers on His Trail. DILLINGER GUNNER, VAN METER, SLAIN. Impact: Van Meter's demise sent shockwaves through the criminal underworld, leading to an increase in gang-related paranoia and, ironically, the rise of the 'crime documentary' genre as we know it today.. Fact: The life of a gangster is glamorous until the moment you realize that getting shot is not part of the plan. Who knew?.