JUNE 30, 1934

Full News Archive

• Headline: J. W. Wise on Nazi Survival Prospects. Impact: Wise's bold prediction sent ripples through time, leading to a series of poorly received 'Nazi Survival Guide' books in the 1950s. Spoiler alert: they didn't survive, but the guide did cause a spike in sales for the publisher, who ironically went bankrupt shortly after.. Fact: Fun fact: The phrase 'Nazis will not survive' gained popularity among optimists, while pessimists just kept rewatching old war movies..
• Headline: 16th Infantry Band Concert on Governors Island. Impact: Little did they know, the sounds of the 16th Infantry band would inspire future generations to invent the 'silent disco,' where everyone dances to their own music while pretending to enjoy a band no one can hear.. Fact: Did you know that 'concerts on Governors Island' eventually led to the invention of the world's first underwater concert? Spoiler: it was a flop..
• Headline: Dattelbaum -- Jensen.. Impact: This seemingly innocuous marriage set off a chain of events where the couple's grandchild would one day invent a new flavor of ice cream that would be banned in 47 states for its bizarre combination of pickles and chocolate.. Fact: In related news, Dattelbaum is the only name known to have been misspelled 73 times in family trees. A record, if you ask me..
• Headline: FIRST OPERA GIVEN IN STADIUM SERIES; ' Samson et Dalila' Produced Successfully Before Big Open-Air Audience. CONDUCTED BY SMALLENS Althouse and Matzenauer Sing the Title Roles -- Toppling of Temple Is Effective.. Impact: The successful production of this opera inspired a revolution in outdoor performances, leading to the eventual creation of the 'Opera in Space' project, which still struggles due to the lack of oxygen and audience members.. Fact: Did you know that 'Samson et Dalila' was nearly renamed 'Samson and Delilah: The Musical'? Thank goodness someone stopped that trainwreck!.
• Headline: Heads State Welfare Group.. Impact: This election brought forth a new level of bureaucracy that would inspire generations of politicians to create a highly complex system for handing out free donuts on Fridays—because nothing says welfare like pastries.. Fact: In an ironic twist, the first welfare group was actually formed to give away free Wi-Fi, but we all know how that turned out..
• Headline: DR. LOPEZ HONORED HERE.; President-Elect of Colombia Is Feted by Countrymen.. Impact: The honor bestowed upon Dr. Lopez inspired a wave of similar celebrations worldwide, leading to the first International Day of Overly Enthusiastic Feting, which is now celebrated every January, usually with confetti and questionable dance moves.. Fact: In a twist of fate, Dr. Lopez later turned down a role in a soap opera about Colombian politics, which was probably a good call..
• Headline: Amthor -- Kent.. Impact: This engagement sparked a trend of bizarre wedding themes, including a 'Space Cowboy' theme that would later confuse guests for decades, resulting in several awkward family photos.. Fact: Amthor and Kent are now considered the pioneers of 'couples with hyphenated last names'—a trend that is both loved and loathed in equal measure!.