JUNE 16, 1934

Full News Archive

• Headline: 3lullan's Wedding to T F Brauer. Impact: This marriage is what sparked the modern-day trend of people trying to combine their last names into something that sounds like a Wi-Fi password. Thanks for that!. Fact: Did you know that the average couple spends 13 months planning their wedding? Clearly, they weren't focusing on the crucial decision of how to combine their last names!.
• Headline: Quintuplet Weight Gain Milestone. Impact: This event likely inspired a whole generation of parents to obsess over their baby’s weight gain, leading to the invention of baby weight tracking apps. No pressure, kids!. Fact: It's funny how in the race of life, we start off competing for weight gain. Spoiler alert: It only gets more complicated from here!.
• Headline: HUPP MOTOR CUTS PRICE.; New Series Introduced -- General Motors Truck Makes Reductions.. Impact: HUPP's price cuts probably triggered a chain reaction of cutting prices through the automotive industry, which ultimately led to a world where everyone thinks they can afford a Tesla. Thanks, HUPP!. Fact: Did you know that cutting prices is a great way to sell more cars? It's almost like magic, except it involves accounting!.
• Headline: Tories Keep Monmouth Seat.; Wireless to THE NEW YORK TIMES.. Impact: This win likely inspired countless political strategists to believe that the 'keep what you have' strategy is foolproof, leading to a long lineage of politicians who just don't get it.. Fact: Nothing says 'we care about your needs' like a political party clinging to its seat like a toddler to a security blanket!.
• Headline: GLAND INFLUENCE TRACED IN CANCER; Cell Growth Is Linked With Pituitary Overfunction in Cases of Mothers. CHECK BY X-RAY REPORTED Medical Association is Also Told of Many Infections Laid to Sinus Trouble.. Impact: This research was pivotal, paving the way for future studies on cancer and health, while ensuring that sinus infections remained the least glamorous topic in medical history.. Fact: The pituitary gland is often called the 'master gland.' It’s not surprising, considering how many things it tries to control—just like your mother!.
• Headline: CONGRESS RUSHES IN BI-PARTY TRUCE TO CLOSE TONIGHT; Both Houses Hold Night Sessions After the Two Parties Compromise on Labor Bill.. Impact: This truce probably caused a ripple effect of bipartisan cooperation in Congress that lasted... oh wait, never mind. Back to bickering!. Fact: Fun fact: The term 'bi-partisan' means that both parties agree to disagree on nearly everything else, but hey, at least they can compromise on one thing!.
• Headline: W. H. PILLSBURY TO MARRY; Schenectady's Superintendent of Schools to Wed Welthie Buker.. Impact: This marriage probably led to an influx of school-related puns in future wedding speeches, ensuring that no one would ever let poor W. H. live it down.. Fact: Did you know that marrying a school superintendent might just make your family dinners a lot more educational? Prepare for pop quizzes!.
• Headline: ones -- Boswick.. Impact: This marriage likely contributed to the age-old debate about whether it's better to hyphenate or combine names, leading to a future filled with awkward introductions.. Fact: Combining last names can be quite the adventure—just remember to practice saying your new name out loud. You wouldn't want to trip over it during your wedding vows!.