JUNE 12, 1934

Full News Archive

• Headline: Senate Passes Controversial Silver Bill. Impact: The passing of the Silver Bill set off a chain reaction that led to people desperately searching for silver in their attics, inadvertently starting a bizarre hobby that continues to this day. Who knew Grandma's old silverware would spark a modern-day treasure hunt?. Fact: Did you know that the Silver Bill is not about a new currency based on silver, but rather a complicated tax scheme designed to confuse everyone? Because nothing says 'great legislation' like a confusing tax bill!.
• Headline: Centenary Graduates Celebrated with Prizes. Impact: The graduation of 46 students from Centenary led to a ripple effect where each of them felt the sudden pressure to succeed in life, resulting in an unprecedented surge in coffee consumption and existential crises across the nation.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing harder than graduating is finding a job afterward? Spoiler alert: it involves a lot of coffee and tears..
• Headline: Public Support for Roosevelt's Policies Grows. Impact: Roosevelt's approval in ten more cities created a domino effect of confidence that led to the establishment of 'Roosevelt-themed' merchandise. Who knew that political approval ratings could lead to a line of commemorative mugs?. Fact: Did you know that in politics, approval ratings can be more volatile than a soap opera plot twist? One minute you're in, and the next you're getting canceled like a bad TV show..
• Headline: Bailey Art Exhibit Opens.. Impact: The opening of the Bailey Art Exhibit sparked a newfound appreciation for art, leading to a decade-long debate over whether a banana taped to a wall counts as art. Thanks for that, Bailey!. Fact: Did you know that art can be subjective? Just ask anyone who has stared at a blank canvas and tried to convince themselves it’s profound..
• Headline: KNOX FINDS GERMANY ON THE DOWN GRADE; Publisher Says if Hitler Fails the Next Step Will Be a Military Dictatorship.. Impact: Knox's observation on Germany's decline sent shockwaves through the world, inadvertently prompting history teachers everywhere to use 'I told you so' as a lesson plan for the next century.. Fact: Did you know that predicting the future is a lot like playing darts blindfolded? Sometimes you hit the bullseye, and other times you just end up with a dart in your foot..
• Headline: FOES OF NAZIS SEE GAINS.; Non-Sectarian League Reports Germany Hit by Boycott.. Impact: The Non-Sectarian League's report on the boycott against Nazis stimulated an unexpected rise in global activism, eventually leading to the invention of the hashtag and online petitions. #BoycottSuccess!. Fact: Did you know that boycotts can lead to significant changes? Just ask anyone trying to get their friend to stop listening to that awful band they love..
• Headline: WINS HIGH HONORS AT JOHNS HOPKINS; Theodore S. Stern, a New York Student, Will Receive Cup at Commencement Today.. Impact: The high honors earned by Theodore S. Stern at Johns Hopkins paved the way for future generations to believe that they, too, could achieve greatness and still struggle to remember where they parked their car.. Fact: Did you know that graduating with honors doesn't come with a manual on how to adult? Life is still a mystery, even if you have a shiny diploma..
• Headline: On Way to Rotary Convention.. Impact: The Rotary International convention trip resulted in countless networking opportunities and perhaps a few questionable business deals, proving that nothing bonds people quite like bad coffee and awkward small talk.. Fact: Did you know that 'Rotary' isn't just about business networking? It’s also an excellent excuse to avoid awkward family gatherings!.
• Headline: URGES GRADUATES TO ETERNAL STUDY; Dr. John H. Finley at Mount Holyoke Applauds Alumnae College Experiment. DR. STIMSON IS HONORED Degrees, Scholarships and Prizes Are Awarded -- Societies Elect Members.. Impact: Dr. John H. Finley's insistence on eternal study has led to generations of students feeling guilty about their Netflix binges, forever impacting the way we balance leisure and learning.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more eternal than studying is procrastination? It’s a fine art that every student has perfected..
• Headline: TITLE CHESS ADJOURNED.; Alekhine Has Slight Advantage in 25th Game of Series.. Impact: The adjournment of the Chess Title match resulted in an unexpected surge of chess-themed merchandise, leading to a world where chess boards became the hipster accessory of choice.. Fact: Did you know that chess is often referred to as the game of kings? Mostly because they were the only ones who could afford the time to play it!.