MARCH 28, 1934

Full News Archive

• Headline: Textile Group Celebrates P Moss. Impact: The honoring of Moss led to a string of textile innovations that eventually contributed to the rise of fast fashion. Thanks, Moss, for making 'sweatshop chic' a thing.. Fact: Did you know that the textile industry is responsible for more carbon emissions than all international flights combined? Moss would be proud..
• Headline: Brussels Upholds Paris Arms Agreement. Impact: This diplomatic maneuver set off a chain reaction of alliances and rivalries, ultimately leading to a tea party in a war room—because who doesn't love a good brew while planning world domination?. Fact: Did you know that World War I could have been avoided if everyone just agreed to a game of chess instead? Less bloodshed, more checkmates..
• Headline: France's Major Job Cuts in 1934. Impact: This event triggered a wave of discontent that eventually turned into the 'Great French Wine Riot' of the future, where the citizens protested for their right to drink without economic guilt.. Fact: Fun fact: A reduction in state jobs often leads to an increase in café visits. Who needs a paycheck when you can sip espresso and complain about the government?.
• Headline: CITY BUSINESS MEN HIT EXCHANGE BILL; Merchants' Association Files Formal Protest With Congress and President.. Impact: This protest against the exchange bill led to the creation of a secret society of disgruntled merchants whose meetings were basically just long whines about government regulations and bad coffee.. Fact: Ever wonder why the price of coffee fluctuates? It’s not because of supply and demand; it’s just business men trying to find a reason to complain..
• Headline: Argentine Wool Prices Rise.. Impact: The increase in wool prices sparked a global knitwear revolution, leading to widespread sweater-related fashion disasters in the decades to come. Thanks, Argentina!. Fact: Did you know that wool is often called 'the original miracle fiber'? Mostly because it can both keep you warm and make you look like a walking sheep..
• Headline: PLANS CITY MANAGER SUIT.; Lawyer to Bring Action After Rejection of Newark Plea.. Impact: This legal action set a precedent for future city manager lawsuits, paving the way for a new genre of reality TV: 'City Managers Gone Wild!'. Fact: Did you know that most city managers are actually part-time magicians? They make budgets disappear faster than you can say 'fiscal responsibility.'.
• Headline: GET $2,100 PAYROLL IN ELEVATOR HOLD-UP; Two Armed Thugs Intimidate Operator, Bind Messengers in Broadway Building.. Impact: This brazen elevator heist inspired a series of poorly thought-out movies about heists, leading to the rise of the 'dumb criminal' trope in Hollywood.. Fact: Ever hear of the 'great elevator heist'? It’s not a heist if you leave the doors wide open, my friend..
• Headline: REDS IN NORTH SPAIN FIRE TWO CHURCHES; But No Other Interference With Holy Week Procession Is Reported in Country.. Impact: The act of arson sparked a wave of religious tensions that would echo through the decades, reminding us all that sometimes, people just need to chill with the matches.. Fact: The burning of churches often leads to an increase in church attendance. People love a good comeback story, even when it involves flames..
• Headline: MRS. ADAMS'S TEAM WINS.; Moves to Quarter-Final Round of Mixed Squash Racquets.. Impact: This victory in squash led to an explosion of interest in mixed doubles, which ultimately resulted in a bizarre new reality show called 'Squash Your Rivals.'. Fact: Did you know that squash was once considered a sport for aristocrats? Now it’s just a great excuse to chase a small ball and yell at your partner..