MARCH 22, 1934

Full News Archive

• Headline: Wheat Showdown Looms at International Pact. Impact: This wheat showdown would eventually lead to a secret society of cereal enthusiasts, who would plot to control the world's breakfast supply. Little did they know, their biggest rival would be oat milk.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more inflated than wheat prices during a showdown is the egos of the politicians negotiating them..
• Headline: Continental Oil's Remarkable 1933 Turnaround. Impact: Continental Oil's financial turnaround would inspire a new genre of motivational speeches titled 'From Deficit to Dividend,' which would ultimately lead to the rise of self-help gurus who couldn't help themselves.. Fact: In 1933, oil was so valuable that people actually considered using it for cooking instead of just powering their cars. Spoiler: it didn’t catch on..
• Headline: FEDERAL SPENDING PRAISED BY BLACK; Head of Reserve Board Thinks Nation Will Be Well Within Its Budget This Year. HAS NO FEAR FOR BANKS Voicing Faith in Roosevelt, He Says it Would Be 'Unmoral' to Try to Save Now.. Impact: Black's unwavering faith in Roosevelt's budget would eventually inspire a generation of politicians to believe they could also be 'well within their budget' while spending like a kid in a candy store.. Fact: E. R. Black probably thought that 'unmoral' meant 'not moral enough to go without dessert.' A true visionary!.
• Headline: TERRA IS RE-ELECTED URUGUAY'S PRESIDENT; Three Parties Shun Voting as Constituent Assembly Names Him for 1935-1939 Term.. Impact: Tierra's re-election would lead to a decades-long tradition of politicians forgetting what 'term limits' mean, eventually giving rise to a new genre of soap operas based on their lives.. Fact: In Uruguay, the only thing more durable than a politician's resolve to stay in power is the coffee. A national treasure, really..
• Headline: TAXI PEACE MOVE ENDS IN NEW RIOTS; Strikers Wreck Cabs, Attack Drivers in Wild Disorders in Theatre District.. Impact: The taxi riots would create a ripple effect resulting in the invention of the 'Taxi Peace Treaty,' which stipulated that cab drivers must always have a stash of mints on hand to diffuse anger.. Fact: Did you know that in 1933, the only thing more chaotic than a taxi strike was the average New Yorker's morning commute? Talk about a wild ride!.
• Headline: JAPAN AND U.S. VOW AMITY IN MESSAGES; Hirota and Hull, in a Cordial Exchange, Voice Desire to End All Outstanding Issues. PEACE AIMS ARE STRESSED Tokyo Foreign Minister Says Emphatically His Country Courts Trouble With None. JAPAN AND U.S. VOW AMITY IN MESSAGES. Impact: The cordial exchange between Japan and the U.S. would create a meme-worthy moment in history, inspiring future generations to believe that sending emojis could solve all international disputes.. Fact: Hirota and Hull's 'vow of amity' was so heartfelt that it inspired a trend of pen pals that lasted until the advent of social media. Clearly, they were ahead of their time!.
• Headline: NEW INSULL CURB PASSED BY SENATE; Bill Approved for the Removal of Citizens From Lands Where We Have Extraterritoriality.. Impact: The Insull curb would set a precedent for future politicians to pass bills with the same level of transparency as a brick wall, leading to the invention of the phrase 'extraction of rights' in the political lexicon.. Fact: Insull's escape was so dramatic that it inspired a Broadway musical. Spoiler: it was just as confusing as the original events..
• Headline: Miss lngalls,' Flying Alone, Crosses Andes;. Impact: Miss Ingalls' solo flight would inspire a whole generation of women to take to the skies, eventually leading to the invention of the 'Flying Feminist' movement, where flying lessons became a rite of passage.. Fact: Crossing the Andes alone in 1933? Talk about impressive! I can barely cross my living room without tripping over something!.