MARCH 21, 1934

Full News Archive

• Headline: Suffolk Elections of 1934. Impact: The heavy Democratic gains in the Suffolk area led to a butterfly effect of increased voter engagement, resulting in a nationwide obsession with local elections. Fast forward a few decades, and people are debating the merits of voting for their dog's name as a write-in candidate.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more confusing than the results of a four-party race is trying to explain it to someone who just wants to know who won 'American Idol'?.
• Headline: Exploring America's Literary Landscape. Impact: Harold E. Stearns' 'Rediscovering America' inspired a generation of conspiracy theorists who believed America was actually a lost continent. Spoiler alert: It's not Atlantis!. Fact: Did you know that rediscovering America is a bit like finding your old high school diary? It's probably better left buried in the past..
• Headline: Commoner Marries Annam's Emperor. Impact: The marriage of a commoner to an emperor sparked a series of royal love stories, including one where a prince fell in love with a pizza delivery girl. To this day, royal families are still taking applications from ordinary folks!. Fact: Did you know that marrying a ruler is the original 'marrying up'? Forget about dating a doctor; try landing an emperor!.
• Headline: SEVEN ARE APPOINTED TO HARVARD FACULTY; Four Are Named for Full Year -- Two Leaves of Absence Are Granted.. Impact: The appointment of seven new faculty members at Harvard created a ripple effect resulting in an explosion of academic jargon and, eventually, the invention of 'academic memes.' We owe it all to those two leaves of absence!. Fact: Did you know that getting a leave of absence at Harvard is practically a rite of passage? It's like a sabbatical, but for those who just need a break from impressively boring lectures..
• Headline: Yonkers Pays Off $2,000,000.. Impact: Yonkers paying off $2,000,000 in debts set a precedent for cities everywhere to post their debts online, spawning a new trend in budgeting—because nothing says 'fiscally responsible' like a public shame list!. Fact: Did you know that paying off debts is kind of like cleaning your room? You feel accomplished until you realize the rest of your life is still a mess..
• Headline: Monopoly in the Steel Industry Charged by Trade Commission; United States Steel With 40% and Bethlehem With 13% of NRA Voting Strength Dominate, Says Report - Price Fixing and Pursuit of Outlawed Practices Alleged. HOLDS STEEL CODE MAKES A MONOPOLY. Impact: The Trade Commission's charges against steel monopolies led to a series of legal battles that ultimately caused the formation of the 'Steel Workers Union'—and a lot of angry steelworkers learning how to use Twitter.. Fact: Did you know that price-fixing is just a fancy term for 'let's all agree to charge more'? It's the adult version of 'let's play nice on the playground.'.
• Headline: France Anxious Over Arming of Factions; Press, Fearing Strife, Asks Cabinet to Act. Impact: France's anxiety over arming factions set the stage for a lengthy game of 'who's got the bigger army,' leading to a centuries-long strategy of paranoia and elaborate military parades—talk about overcompensation.. Fact: Did you know that when it comes to arming factions, France has a long history? It's almost as if they invented the phrase 'Keep your friends close, and your enemies armed.'.
• Headline: HARRIMAN.. Impact: The election results involving Harriman may seem trivial, but they ultimately created a cult following of people obsessed with local politics. Today, they host annual 'Harriman Fest' where attendees debate the best way to vote on a pizza topping.. Fact: Did you know that election results are the adult version of finding out who got the highest score in Monopoly? The stakes are lower, but the arguments can get heated!.
• Headline: LATTINGTOWN.. Impact: The results in Lattingtown inspired a trend of towns competing for the title of 'Most Boring Election.' Ironically, the competition got so heated that it actually became exciting, resulting in a reality TV show.. Fact: Did you know that if you can stay awake during local election results, you should probably consider running for office? Clearly, you have the stamina!.
• Headline: 4 PARTY CONTESTS IN ORANGE COUNTY; G.C. Bullis, the Only Mayor Opposed, Is Re-elected in Maybrook Poll. LIVELY FIGHT IN GOSHEN Otisville Democrats Rename 2 Trustees -- Parry and Croley Win in Highland Falls.. Impact: The four-party contests in Orange County demonstrated the true meaning of a democracy—chaos. It inspired future generations to believe that more parties could only mean more confusion, leading to political parties resembling family reunions.. Fact: Did you know that four-party elections are just like a family dinner? Everyone argues, and no one leaves happy, but at least you get some free food!.