FEBRUARY 24, 1934

Full News Archive

• Headline: Bishop Walsh's Historic Audience with the Pope. Impact: Bishop Walsh's hour with the Pope led to a surprising increase in the number of bishops attempting to secure their own papal appointments, resulting in a bizarre reality show titled 'Papal Pitches.'. Fact: Fun fact: The Pope actually wanted to discuss the importance of brunch, but Walsh kept bringing up the weather in Newark instead..
• Headline: Virginia Enacts Turf Legislation. Impact: The passing of turf bills in Virginia opened the door for a turf war, quite literally, leading to a nationwide obsession with lawn care that still plagues homeowners today.. Fact: Did you know that the biggest argument in Virginia history arose from which shade of green lawn is considered 'turf-worthy'? It's a real grass-roots movement!.
• Headline: VASSAR DEDICATES ITS NEW GYMNASIUM; Alumnae From Many Places See Ceremony at $400,000 Helen Kenyon Hall. DR. DARRACH LAUDS AIMS Holds Athletics in Women's College Are for All Students Instead of a 'Few Experts.'. Impact: The dedication of the gym spurred a mass movement for women's athletics, leading to the invention of competitive napping as a recognized sport in colleges worldwide.. Fact: Fun fact: Dr. Darrach once tried to start a 'Few Experts' club but it quickly disbanded when no one showed up. Guess everyone wanted to be part of the majority!.
• Headline: Another Cold Wave Renews City's Discomfort; Food Gets Through to Long Island Towns. Impact: The cold wave reminded residents to stock up on food, which inadvertently led to the invention of the modern-day snow day snack—hot chocolate and questionable leftovers.. Fact: Fun fact: Local legend has it that one man survived an entire week on nothing but frozen pizza and determination during that cold wave..
• Headline: JUNIOR PROM AT YALE.; Historic Wooden Spoon Is Presented to Charles E. Dunbar.. Impact: The presentation of the wooden spoon at the Yale prom inspired a tradition of ridiculous awards, leading to a future where participation trophies are given for simply existing.. Fact: Did you know that Charles E. Dunbar later used the wooden spoon to stir up drama at every subsequent reunion? Nothing says 'classy' like a spoon fight!.
• Headline: POST WILL ORDER FIRETRAPS CLOSED; Eight Brooklyn Tenements Already Condemned -- Nine in Manhattan Face Action. ONE CONCERN FINED $50 Housing Commissioner Appears Personally in Case in Which 17 Warnings Were Ignored.. Impact: The closing of firetraps led to a significant decrease in urban fire hazards, which directly resulted in the rise of indoor cooking competitions—who knew safety could be so delicious?. Fact: Fun fact: The $50 fine was the equivalent of a parking ticket for a fire hazard. Apparently, safety wasn't such a hot topic back then!.
• Headline: Italy Seeks Pact Preserving Arms Status. Impact: Italy's armament discussions set off a chain reaction that led to the world's most awkward dinner parties, where everyone had to politely avoid discussing who had the biggest military toys.. Fact: Did you know that the 'arms status' discussions were often interrupted by debates over pasta shapes? Because if you're going to negotiate, you might as well do it over a plate of spaghetti..
• Headline: NEW FIRM FOR EXCHANGE.; Young, Clarke & Co. to Have Headquarters in Los Angeles.. Impact: The establishment of Young, Clarke & Co. in Los Angeles triggered a wave of financial firms moving west, ultimately causing a shortage of coffee shops and an increase in overpriced avocado toast.. Fact: Fun fact: The original office was almost located in a taco truck, but they decided against it—apparently, financial advice doesn't pair well with salsa!.