FEBRUARY 21, 1934

Full News Archive

• Headline: South Australia Considers Secession in 1934. Impact: If South Australia had seceded, it might have sparked a trend where all states began to form their own countries, leading to an Australian version of 'Game of Thrones' with kangaroo armies and vegemite diplomacy.. Fact: Did you know that secession is just another word for 'let's go our separate ways, but still ask for financial help'?.
• Headline: Defining 'Whipper-Snapper' in 1934. Impact: The definition of 'whipper-snapper' could have changed the course of slang history, resulting in a world where every generation has to invent new words to describe their disdain for the younger crowd.. Fact: Whipper-snapper originally referred to a young, inexperienced person. So basically, it's the perfect term for anyone trying to explain TikTok to their grandparents..
• Headline: End of the Spanish Building Strike. Impact: The end of the building strike in Spain may have inadvertently led to a worldwide obsession with construction shows, as people began to think that watching buildings rise was as exciting as watching paint dry.. Fact: Building strikes are not just about labor; they're a great excuse for construction workers to take a break and perfect their coffee brewing skills!.
• Headline: UTILITY REPORTS INCOME DECREASED; Engineers Public Service Company's Net for 1933 Is Given at $1,376,627. WAS $4,190,052 IN 1932 Balance to Common Shares After Preferred Dividends Falls From $1,866,503 to $214,852.. Impact: The utility income decrease might have inspired a future generation of engineers to invent the solar-powered toaster, because who doesn’t want to make toast while saving the planet?. Fact: In 1932, people were probably still debating whether to use candles or electric light. Spoiler alert: electric light won. Eventually..
• Headline: SOVIET WARNINGS ALARM JAPANESE; They Fear the Russians Plan to Start Hostilities Against Them and Manchukuo. NEW PRECAUTIONS TAKEN Bank Is Organized in France to Handle Investments in the New State in East.. Impact: If Japan had taken Soviet warnings seriously, we might have avoided the whole WWII mess in the Pacific. Instead, they just decided to keep building their own version of a 'not-so-friendly neighborhood'.. Fact: Fear of hostilities can be a powerful motivator. Just ask anyone who's ever had to face a group project in school!.
• Headline: THRONGS OF ADULTS VISIT OWN NURSERY; Some Tinker With Puzzles and Others Cluster Around Roulette Table at Hobby Show.. Impact: The adult visit to the nursery might have led to a bizarre trend where adults began to see day care as an escape from their responsibilities, leading to a rise in 'adult nurseries' and toddler-style tantrums in public.. Fact: Who knew that adults would find puzzles and roulette to be the ultimate stress relief? Next, they'll be asking for nap time and snack breaks!.
• Headline: Heat in Subway Cars.. Impact: The lack of heat in subway cars could have sparked a revolution in public transport, leading to the invention of heated rail cars, or at least a few very grumpy riders who invented an entire new genre of complaining.. Fact: The subway: where you can experience the full range of human emotions, from 'this is too hot' to 'why is there a stranger’s armpit in my face?'.
• Headline: LEGISLATIVE CHIEFS PLAN NEW CITY BILL; WARNED BY LEHMAN; Amendments by Dunnigan and Steingut Put County Jobs Beyond Mayor's Reach.. Impact: The legislative chiefs' city bill planning may have sparked the longest-running game of political chess in history, with more amendments than actual votes, and a few surprise checkmates thrown in.. Fact: Politics: where the only thing more complicated than the bills is figuring out what the bills actually mean!.
• Headline: Nazis Push 'Coordination' Of the German Nobility. Impact: The Nazis' coordination of the German nobility could have led to a reality where royal families competed in reality TV shows, turning their political maneuvering into an Olympic sport.. Fact: Coordination in Nazi terms means 'let's all agree on how to be terrible together,' which is a group project no one wanted to sign up for..