FEBRUARY 13, 1934

Full News Archive

• Headline: Hog and Hominy: A Culinary Debate. Impact: This culinary advice dramatically altered the breakfast landscape, saving countless late-night diners from a syrupy disaster that could have led to a nationwide trend in bizarre brunch combinations.. Fact: Did you know? This headline is a reminder that sometimes, even the simplest of meals can make you question your life choices—especially if you actually tried hog with syrup..
• Headline: Bankruptcy Study Reveals Racket Influence. Impact: The exposure of these racketeers led to a chain reaction of financial regulations that somehow still managed to be ignored in favor of more shady dealings, proving that some lessons just don't stick.. Fact: Did you know? This whole situation could have been avoided if people just learned to read the fine print—oh wait, that’s asking for too much, isn’t it?.
• Headline: GERALD GASSII)Y, .ARTIST, 54, DIES; Painter of Southwest Scenes Victim of Poisoning From Fumes of Materials. WAS DOING CWA MURALS i His Work !s Represented in the Louvre -- Known Best for His Canvases of Indians.. Impact: Cassidy's tragic death sparked conversations about artist safety, leading to more regulations in art studios—though sadly, it didn't prevent future artists from inhaling questionable fumes.. Fact: Gerald Cassidy's works are in the Louvre, a testament to how even the most tragic of stories can lead to a legacy that outlives the artist. A bittersweet reminder of talent and caution..
• Headline: BIG TOOTHPASTE THEFT.; Six Held on Charge of Stealing $37,000 Worth From Colgate's.. Impact: This event gave rise to a new breed of thieves—those who only steal essential items, leading to a bizarre underground market for dental hygiene products that never quite caught on.. Fact: Did you know? Six people went to jail over toothpaste, proving that not all criminal masterminds are plotting world domination—some just want to keep their teeth clean..
• Headline: Boiled for Three Hours.. Impact: This headline sparked a culinary revolution, where people began to question how long they should really boil things, leading to a generation of undercooked pasta and overly soft vegetables.. Fact: Did you know? This might have been the most exciting thing to happen in a kitchen that day—no wonder cooking shows are so popular now!.
• Headline: Mayor Offers Airport For Army Mail Fliers. Impact: This generous offer inadvertently set the stage for future political posturing, where mayors everywhere would try to outdo each other with increasingly ridiculous offers, like giving away entire parks for a picnic.. Fact: We can only hope the army mail fliers appreciated the airport. After all, who doesn't want to deliver mail with a side of runway drama?.
• Headline: Gale, Bringing Cold, Expected Here Today. Impact: This weather forecast proved that nature has a wicked sense of humor, leading to an endless cycle of people complaining about the weather, which still continues today—thanks, meteorology!. Fact: Did you know? Meteorologists can get away with being wrong 50% of the time, but heaven forbid a weatherman suggest you wear shorts in December!.
• Headline: President Takes Wreath To the Lincoln Memorial. Impact: This act of remembrance served as a quiet reminder that some presidents have better public relations skills than others, leaving future leaders to ponder how to make a simple wreath-laying seem like a grand event.. Fact: Did you know? This was probably the most exercise the President got all week—who knew laying a wreath could be so politically beneficial?.