JANUARY 24, 1934

Full News Archive

• Headline: MacDonald's Call for Trade Stabilization. Impact: MacDonald's speech on stabilizing trade relations led to a bizarre chain reaction where people started wearing shirts that said 'Free Trade or Bust'. This culminated in an underground movement that replaced all currency with Monopoly money, believing it would bring lasting peace.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'The dollar and the pound walk into a bar' is the start of a really terrible joke? Well, MacDonald probably wished he had a punchline instead of a policy..
• Headline: Equalization Fund Control in Washington 1934. Impact: The proposed one-man rule over the equalization fund sparked a revolution in the world of solo governance, leading to the founding of the 'One-Man Rule Society', where they held debates on what to have for lunch.. Fact: Did you know that the Equalization Fund was initially proposed to even out the wealth distribution? Instead, it became a hot topic for one-man dinner parties instead..
• Headline: Skyway Truck Ban for Safety Approved. Impact: The Skyway truck ban led to the invention of hover trucks. Unfortunately, they were all recalled after the first model floated away and was never seen again.. Fact: Fun fact: The first truck ban was actually aimed at reducing the number of trucks on the highway. The second aim? To ensure drivers had enough time to catch up on their podcasts..
• Headline: GUESSING' AT AGES IRKS CUNNINGHAM; But Controller Learns Many Persons Really Do Not Know How Old They Are. ONE TEACHER IS '68 OR 70' Retirement Board, Accustomed to Uncertainty, Accepts the Later Date for Records.. Impact: Cunningham's discovery about age led to a new fitness trend where people tried to guess their age through yoga. This resulted in a cult of eternal youth, until they realized they just needed to check their birth certificates.. Fact: Did you know that one teacher thought she was 68 or 70? Now that’s what I call a successful life of denial..
• Headline: Vassar Opera Plans Praised.. Impact: The praise for Vassar's opera plans launched a new trend in higher education, leading to institutions across the nation switching to opera as the primary mode of instruction. Students still can't find the bathroom.. Fact: Did you know that Vassar’s opera plans were so well-received that they considered offering a minor in 'Singing in the Shower'?.
• Headline: RATTLER TUNNEL' STIRS STONY POINT; CWA Men Report Finding Nests of Sleeping Snakes in Pine Mountain Refuge. SCIENTIST IS SKEPTICAL Dr. Noble Sees Attempt to Ape Loch Ness Publicity, but Will Look Again.. Impact: The discovery of snake nests in Stony Point led to a bizarre snake-charmer competition that took the world by storm. Sadly, the snakes didn't get the memo and refused to perform.. Fact: Did you know that 'Rattler Tunnel' actually became a tourist attraction? Visitors left disappointed after realizing they wouldn't see any snakes; just a lot of people looking for Wi-Fi..
• Headline: Japan Bars Barbara Hutton's Prince;. Impact: Japan's refusal of Barbara Hutton's prince led to a bizarre global trend of passport checks at weddings, resulting in a black market for valid stamps and a spike in marriage fraud.. Fact: Did you know that being barred from Japan is what inspired the term 'diplomatic relationship'? Because nothing says romance like a country telling you to leave..