JANUARY 16, 1934

Full News Archive

• Headline: Roosevelt's Monetary Policy Proposal. Impact: Roosevelt's monetary policy set off a chain reaction that led to Congress becoming a circus of financial debates, ultimately resulting in the invention of 'money magic'—the art of making dollars appear and disappear at will. Enter the crypto craze, where now everyone thinks they can just create money from memes!. Fact: Did you know that the Treasury Department once considered replacing gold with glitter? Just kidding, but wouldn’t that have made for an interesting economy?.
• Headline: Massive Expenditure on Jersey Relief. Impact: The staggering amount spent on Jersey relief not only set a precedent for government spending but also led to the invention of 'Welfare Bingo'—a game where politicians could cross off promises made to constituents while waiting for the next crisis.. Fact: Funny how $25 million could barely cover a weekend in today's economy! Oh, the joys of inflation!.
• Headline: Wage Increase for 2,000 Workers. Impact: This wage increase for 2,000 employees sparked a movement that led to numerous 'Wage Increase Wednesdays' across the nation, which in turn inspired a series of labor-themed motivational posters that no one actually wanted to hang up.. Fact: A 5% wage increase back then was like finding a miracle dollar bill in your couch cushions. Now, it's just a sad reminder of how far we’ve come—or not..
• Headline: STEINGUT BLOCKS CITY ECONOMY BILL; Assembly Leader Demands a Hearing on Measure and It Goes to Committee. SENATE PASSES PARK ACT Also That Protecting Pension of McElligott -- Leaders Fail to Agree on City Plans.. Impact: Steingut blocking the city economy bill created a butterfly effect that led to every city meeting becoming a tense showdown. Fast forward to today, and city council meetings now come with popcorn.. Fact: It's amazing how much drama can unfold over a bill. Who needs reality TV when you've got local politics?.
• Headline: British Champion Animals.. Impact: The British champion animals were so impressive that they inspired a secret society of animal sculptors, leading to the Great Sculpture War of 1952, where cats and dogs were forever immortalized in stone.. Fact: Did you know that these sculptures were so lifelike that they once caused a traffic jam when people couldn’t distinguish them from real animals? Talk about a cat-astrophe!.
• Headline: 8,000 ATTEND OPENING OF DUNN EXPOSITION; Work of Catholic Missions in All Parts of World Depicted at Memorial Exhibit.. Impact: The Dunn Exposition's opening was so well-attended that it kickstarted the trend of expos, which eventually led to such oddities as the 'National Cheese Wheel Appreciation Day'—because who doesn't love cheese?. Fact: 8,000 people in attendance? That’s like a small town deciding to throw a party! I bet they had a blast... or at least a really long line for the bathroom..
• Headline: Sues to Regain Richmond Job.. Impact: Thompson's lawsuit to regain his job as Commissioner sparked a national trend of job reclaiming, leading to the establishment of 'Job-Reclaiming Day,' where everyone just shows up at their old offices and awkwardly asks for their desk back.. Fact: Did you know that suing for your job isn’t as popular as it sounds? Most people just opt for a nice resignation letter instead—less messy!.
• Headline: LEAGUE WARNS LIBERIA.; Council Tells Her She Must Accept Full Rehabilitation Plan.. Impact: Liberia's warning from the League of Nations set off a global domino effect that led to every country appointing a ‘Rehabilitation Liaison,’ resulting in an international conference on how to best rehabilitate bad decisions.. Fact: The League of Nations had so many plans for rehabilitation that they almost started a reality show called 'Nations Next Top Role Model.'.
• Headline: Gershwin Group Begins Tour.. Impact: The Gershwin Group's tour inspired countless aspiring musicians to hit the road, ultimately leading to an explosion of bizarre musical genres, including 'Yodeling Jazz,' which, believe it or not, is still a thing.. Fact: Gershwin's music was so influential that if you play it backward, it sounds like a secret message to buy more jazz records. Just kidding... or am I?.