DECEMBER 21, 1933

Full News Archive

• Headline: Historic Nationality Pact Signed in 1933. Impact: The signing of the Nationality Pact set off a chain reaction that ultimately led to the establishment of 'Pact Parties' in the future, where people gather to celebrate treaties while wearing matching T-shirts. Feminism became a fashion statement, and now everyone wants to be 'the girl who signed the treaty' in their Instagram bios.. Fact: In the future, there will be a reality show called 'Treaty or Not Treaty?' where contestants debate the merits of various historical treaties while trying to win a lifetime supply of organic kale..
• Headline: Prince George Strands on Badso Rock. Impact: The SOS from the stranded liner caused a series of unfortunate maritime mishaps, leading to the invention of the first 'Anti-Stranding' device. Ironically, it was made from the very rocks the ship ran aground on. Some say the rocks were just tired of being overlooked.. Fact: This incident sparked an entire genre of maritime mystery novels where every plot twist ends with a ship getting stuck on rocks. Spoiler alert: they never learn..
• Headline: JOHN ROBERTS.. Impact: John Roberts' mere existence somehow led to the invention of a time machine. People wanted to go back and ask him for his secret to longevity, but all they got was a shrug and a cup of herbal tea.. Fact: Rumor has it that John Roberts was actually a cat in disguise. Cats have nine lives, and who are we to question their wisdom?.
• Headline: Larkman to Seek Recompense.. Impact: Larkman's quest for recompense unwittingly led to the establishment of a new currency called 'Larkcoins', given to those who feel wronged by society. The Larkcoin economy is booming, mostly because nobody knows what it’s actually worth.. Fact: Larkman’s story inspired a motivational poster that says, 'Get compensation for your jail time; life is a negotiation!' It’s oddly popular in corporate offices..
• Headline: Asks Insuranshares Receiver.. Impact: The appointment of a receiver for Seaboard Continental Corp was the catalyst for the infamous corporate musical, 'The Receiver's Lament', which explores the emotional journey of corporate receivership through song and dance. Spoiler: it's a real tear-jerker.. Fact: This event is now commemorated every year with a 'Receiver's Day' where everyone dresses up as their favorite corporate receiver. It’s a very niche celebration..