NOVEMBER 29, 1933

Full News Archive

• Headline: Nazis Execute Communist for Storm Trooper Killing. Impact: The execution of K Gerber sparked a chain reaction of political executions, leading to a 'who can kill the most people' contest among regimes, eventually inspiring the 'Game of Thrones' series. You see, if Gerber had just stayed home that day, we might have had a lot less drama in our TV shows. Fact: The Nazis were really into efficiency, so much so that they often overlooked the small detail of human life. Just a little fun fact to brighten your day!.
• Headline: SOPHOMORES GIVE DANCE.; 200 Attend Event at New Jersey College for Women.. Impact: The dance organized by sophomores marked the beginning of the 'dance-off' culture that would eventually spread to high schools, leading to countless awkward promposals and TikTok dances. All thanks to a few brave college girls. Fact: Sophomore dances are famous for being a breeding ground for really bad dance moves. Just ask anyone who attended one!.
• Headline: ACCUSED OF DEMAND ON KING FOR MONEY; Engineer Arrested in London After Wide Hunt Is Charged With Making Threats.. Impact: The arrest of C G G Haddon for threatening King George created a ripple effect in the world of royal threats, leading to stricter regulations on how to properly send a letter to royalty. Who knew that being polite could save you from a royal scandal?. Fact: Threatening a king is generally frowned upon, but it does make for a great plot in historical dramas. Just don’t try this at home, kids!.
• Headline: LIQUOR CONTROL COVERS INDUSTRY; DICTATOR SOUGHT; Roosevelt Calls Morgenthau, and Quick Naming of the Board Is Expected. DISTILLER CODE IN EFFECT Importers Will Have Hearing Today -- Rigid Regulation Is Held Unlikely for Beer. SALE BY STATE IS URGED Mastick Commission Is Also for Bar Drinking -- License Plan Would Be Dropped. Liquor Developments. Impact: Roosevelt's move to control the liquor industry led to a national obsession with moonshine and speakeasies. If only they had known that the 'prohibition' phase would inspire hipsters to recreate it in the 21st century. Fact: Prohibition was so popular that it inspired a whole generation of underground bars, leading to the phrase: 'I’ll have a gin and tonic, but make it illegal.'.
• Headline: SIX ARE NOMINATED FOR CITY ARTS BODY; Two Will Be Chosen by Mayor to Fill Vacancies That Will Occur on Jan. 1.. Impact: The nomination for the city arts body turned into a drama-filled reality show, where the stakes were high, and the art was... well, subjective. Future generations would tune in to watch the drama unfold, leading to a rise in art criticism. Fact: Art committees are known for their fierce debates about the color blue and whether or not it 'speaks' to the audience. Spoiler alert: it usually doesn't.
• Headline: To Oppose Long Candidate. Impact: The political drama surrounding Long’s candidacy ignited a tradition of conspiracy theories in American politics. Fast forward to today, and we have a rich tapestry of 'who did what' and 'who's funding whom' that would make Shakespeare proud. Fact: Political threats are basically a rite of passage in American politics, paving the way for future candidates to master the art of the dramatic denial.
• Headline: BRITISH TRADE UNIT IS URGED BY BRUCE; Australian Stresses in London There Is No Possibility of World Cooperation Now. ASSAILS BUSINESS CURBS General Alexander for an Empire Currency Based on Pound to Assist Recovery.. Impact: Bruce’s call for a British trade unit in a time of disunity led to a long-standing tradition of Britain having a pessimistic view of international relations. It was like the world's worst breakup that just kept dragging on. Fact: The phrase 'no possibility of world cooperation' has been used so often in history that it might as well be on a bumper sticker for pessimists.