NOVEMBER 15, 1933

Full News Archive

• Headline: Milk Price Violations by Major Chains. Impact: This case led to a nationwide milk shortage, causing people to panic and start hoarding powdered milk. Little did they know, this would also kickstart an underground powdered milk trade, with smugglers hiding their goods in cans marked 'Not Milk'.. Fact: In a twist of fate, the milk industry would later be saved by the rise of almond milk, which, ironically, is not even milk. The dairy farmers are still trying to figure out how they lost that battle..
• Headline: Quezon's Stance on Philippine Independence. Impact: This denial led to a series of diplomatic misunderstandings, resulting in a cult of pineapple hats emerging as a national symbol. This bizarre fashion choice distracted the world from serious issues for decades.. Fact: The Philippines eventually got independence, but if you ever wondered how pineapple hats became a thing, this was the start of it all. Who knew politics could influence fashion choices?.
• Headline: Soviet Grant of Free Worship Negotiations. Impact: The request for free worship made the Soviets think twice about their policies, leading to a brief era where cats were worshipped as deities in secret temples, confusing historians decades later.. Fact: Cats have been revered in many cultures, but this was the first time a government actually tried to negotiate cat worship rights. Talk about taking diplomacy to a whole new level!.
• Headline: Radio Patrol Is Planned By a Transit Line Here. Impact: The introduction of radio patrols led to an accidental increase in train romances, as conductors were too busy chatting on the radio to notice the budding love stories unfolding in the back seats.. Fact: If you think public transportation is romantic now, just wait until you see the vintage train carriages filled with love-struck passengers thanks to this radio patrol initiative..
• Headline: DECISION RESERVED ON DUKE OF ATHOLL; British Peer Pleads Not Guilty to Charge of Operating a Lottery.. Impact: This case sparked the idea of legalizing lotteries in Britain, leading to the eventual creation of scratch-off tickets. Thanks a lot, Duke! Now millions are addicted to scratching shiny tickets.. Fact: It turns out that lotteries were a thing even back then, but they were more elegant. Today, we just have people scratching cards in convenience stores with varying degrees of success!.
• Headline: CALL GUARD INSANE IN SLAYING OF WIFE; Four Alienists Say Jailer Had Been Crazed by Shooting in Brooklyn Prison. MOTHER ALSO AIDS HIM Testifies He Believed He Was to Be Made 'the Goat' of Attempted Break.. Impact: This tragic event spurred a long line of psychological evaluations for prison guards, resulting in a new trend where 'crazy' became the new normal. Thanks to this, therapy dogs are now more common in prisons than actual prisoners.. Fact: Murder trials often lead to fascinating psychological discussions, but it’s worth noting that therapy dogs have become the real MVPs in modern correctional facilities. Who knew dogs could be the best part of rehabilitation?.
• Headline: DRESS CODE MEETING HELD; Setting Up of an Authority to En- force It Is Begun.. Impact: The birth of this dress code authority led to the creation of fashion police, who would eventually patrol the streets, handing out tickets for heinous crimes like wearing socks with sandals.. Fact: Dress codes are like the parental controls of adulthood: they’re meant to protect you from bad choices, but instead, they just spark revolts. Who knew fashion could lead to a rebellion?.
• Headline: Nina Wilcox Putnam Bankrupt.. Impact: Her bankruptcy led to a ripple effect in the literary world, causing aspiring authors to rethink their life choices, leading to an increase in self-help books about financial literacy. Because, of course, that's what everyone needs more of!. Fact: Nina Wilcox Putnam was a prolific writer, but it seems that even creative geniuses can hit rock bottom. Just goes to show you that even in the world of ink and paper, money talks..
• Headline: LINK ROCKEFELLERS TO OIL POOL PROFIT; Sinclair Allusions to $300,052 Paid to W.S. Fitzpatrick Puzzle Senators. HEARING AMUSES SINCLAIR A 'Joke,' He Says, but Retracts -- Admits Seeing Cutten Late- ly to Discuss the Evidence. LINK ROCKEFELLERS TO OIL POOL PROFIT. Impact: This inquiry led to a series of conspiracy theories regarding shadowy oil cabals, resulting in a new generation of conspiracy theorists who think the Rockefellers control everything... including the weather.. Fact: The Rockefellers have been at the center of conspiracy theories for decades. If only they’d thought to invest in some tinfoil hats for their critics—now that would be a smart investment!.