NOVEMBER 8, 1933

Full News Archive

• Headline: Admiral Sellers' Fleet Journey. Impact: Admiral Sellers' fleet return sparks a chain reaction leading to the first-ever 'Fleet Week' celebrations, where city dwellers throw parades, and sailors throw up all over the place. Eventually, this tradition leads to the invention of the modern-day hangover cure: electrolytes and regret.. Fact: Did you know that 'Pacific Base' was just code for 'far enough away from the boss that he can't bother us?'.
• Headline: Filene Compares NRA Opponents to Tories. Impact: Filene's radio talk ignites a 200-year-long debate on whether calling your political opponents 'Tories' qualifies as a valid argument. This eventually leads to the rise of social media influencers who specialize in name-calling, proving that 'sticks and stones' is just an outdated concept.. Fact: Fun fact: In 1776, calling someone a Tory was the closest thing to a Twitter feud. No hashtags, just public shaming..
• Headline: Litvinoff Advocates Recognition in 1933. Impact: Litvinoff's diplomatic finesse inadvertently inspires future leaders to develop the art of smooth-talking. Fast forward a few decades, and we have politicians who can sell ice to an Eskimo while simultaneously denying climate change.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'statesman' originally meant 'person who can avoid all real issues while looking important'? Litvinoff was clearly a trendsetter..
• Headline: SCARSDALE BARS SALOON.; But Village, Long Dry, Approves Sale of Beer In Bottles.. Impact: Scarsdale's decision to bar saloons leads to a nationwide movement against public drinking, which ultimately results in the creation of the sober October trend. Future generations would look back and wonder how a month without booze became a rite of passage.. Fact: Fun fact: The village approved beer in bottles, proving that even the dryest of towns couldn't resist a good ol' bottle of regret..
• Headline: FIND BOY'S BODY IN JERSEY.; Princeton Police Are Baffled as Autopay Shows He Was Ill.. Impact: The discovery of the boy's body in Jersey sends shockwaves that inadvertently lead to the establishment of better mental health awareness and the eventual popularization of therapy dogs. Who knew tragedy could lead to more furry friends?. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'it takes a village' was actually about community support in the wake of tragedy? Not just a way to avoid parenting responsibilities..
• Headline: FOG HALTS LINDBERGHS.; They Return to Holland, Deferring Flight to Geneva Until Today.. Impact: The fog that halted the Lindberghs becomes a national sensation, leading to the invention of the 'fog delay' excuse for every flight ever. Thanks to them, we now have a legitimate reason to groan at the airport.. Fact: Fun fact: Weather-related excuses have become so popular that 'fog' is now a synonym for 'I just didn't want to go.'.
• Headline: SARRAUT'S BACKERS SPLIT; French Cabinet Is Expected to Fall Without National Socialists' Aid.. Impact: Sarraut's falling cabinet sets off a domino effect, inspiring future politicians to pull off spectacular exits, including dramatic resignations and social media meltdowns. The art of political theater is born.. Fact: Did you know that the French Cabinet's splits are so dramatic that they could rival any soap opera? Grab your popcorn!.
• Headline: O'BRIEN'S ATTITUDE ONE OF GOOD-WILL; Expresses 'Hearty Wishes' for LaGuardia -- McKee Is 'Gratified' by His Vote.. Impact: O'Brien's goodwill gesture leads to a series of backroom deals that eventually result in the establishment of the modern political handshake—a ritual so insincere it could make you question every politician's intentions.. Fact: Fun fact: 'Hearty wishes' have become the political equivalent of 'Best wishes'—meaning absolutely nothing..
• Headline: VOTING DISORDERLY; Thugs Invade Polls, Slug Watchers, Defy Police. Impact: The thugs invading polls set a precedent for future election chaos. This spirals into the current state of affairs where election day looks more like a WWE wrestling match than a democratic process.. Fact: Did you know that 'thug' was actually a term used for the first election security teams? Who knew they’d take 'protection' so literally?.
• Headline: TAMMANY CHIEFS DUE TO LOSE JOBS; Election Likely to Mean End of City Payroll Checks for Many Leaders.. Impact: The impending job losses for Tammany chiefs marks the beginning of a tradition where political leaders blame their failures on others, ultimately leading to the modern-day scapegoat industry. Today, everyone can blame their problems on the 'other party.'. Fact: Fun fact: The Tammany Hall leaders were the original 'you're fired' brigade, long before Donald Trump thought it was a clever catchphrase..