OCTOBER 26, 1933

Full News Archive

• Headline: Reichsbank Gold Supply Surge. Impact: This massive gold increase led to a questionable spike in confidence among the wealthy elite, who then decided to invest in absurd inventions like the automatic bread slicer—because who needs to slice bread by hand when you can have fancy gadgets, right?. Fact: Did you know that gold was once used as a form of currency? Shocking, I know. Who would've thought that shiny rocks could be worth something?.
• Headline: Will Rogers and Gold Marketing in 1933. Impact: Will Rogers' foray into gold marketing inadvertently inspired a wave of future celebrities to dabble in finance. Imagine a reality show called 'Celebrity Stocks,' featuring the likes of Kim Kardashian giving stock tips. The horror!. Fact: Will Rogers was not just a humorist; he was also a savvy businessman. So, when he marketed gold, he probably made more than you did last year..
• Headline: Seabury's Apology for LaGuardia's Remarks. Impact: This apology sparked a chain reaction of political finger-pointing that eventually led to the invention of the 'Blame Game' board game, where everyone loses but the manufacturers.. Fact: LaGuardia was known for his fiery personality. He once famously said, 'There's no such thing as a bad press,' which is a motto many politicians could learn from today..
• Headline: Named Ecuadorean Premier.. Impact: F Gomez de la Torre's appointment set off a series of political dominoes that eventually led to an increase in coffee exports from Ecuador, resulting in a caffeine-fueled wave of productivity that caused a few people to forget how to sleep.. Fact: Ecuador is known for its rich biodiversity, yet the most exciting thing happening there in this era was a premier appointment. Talk about a snooze fest!.
• Headline: To Meet Hull in South America.. Impact: This meeting was so pivotal that it inspired a future generation of diplomats to host 'meetings' that are really just an excuse for an all-you-can-eat buffet, proving once again that food is the true diplomat.. Fact: Hull's last name is not just a name; it's a term used in sailing. So, if things went south, he could've literally 'hull'ed out of there!.
• Headline: CHILEANS URGE UNITY.; Appeal for Latin Solidarity Against Us at Montevideo.. Impact: This plea for unity inadvertently inspired the creation of salsa dancing as a form of protest, leading to a global trend where people shake their hips instead of their fists.. Fact: Chileans are known for their wine, but I guess they were too busy trying to unite to enjoy a glass. Talk about misplaced priorities!.
• Headline: NEW CITY BUILDING TO START MONDAY; O'Brien and Levy Will Lay the Cornerstone of $3,674,837 Civic Centre Project.. Impact: This extravagant civic project set a precedent for future city budgets, leading to a never-ending cycle of over-budget projects and the annual 'How Did We Spend This Much?' meeting.. Fact: In today's money, that $3,674,837 would have been enough to build a small mansion or fund a lavish vacation. Just saying!.
• Headline: JAPANESE BUY 4 SHIPS.; Obtain the Lapland and Three Freighters for Breaking Up.. Impact: This ship purchase kickstarted a world-wide obsession with recycling, leading to the modern 'upcycle' movement—because who doesn't want their grandma's old ship as a coffee table?. Fact: The Lapland was a passenger ship, which begs the question: what do you do with a boat when you're done sailing? Apparently, you turn it into scrap metal!.
• Headline: Art From the Argentine.. Impact: This exhibition inspired a future generation of artists to create bizarre interpretations of everyday objects, resulting in the modern art movement where a banana taped to a wall goes for millions. Thanks, Argentina!. Fact: Argentina is famous for tango, but I guess they decided to throw in some art for good measure. Because why not make people dance and ponder the meaning of life at the same time?.
• Headline: YOUTH BOWS TO AGE AT POLICE AUCTION; Brooklyn Dealers Keep Ahead of Boys' Bids for Bicycles -- $6,607 Taken In.. Impact: This police auction led to the creation of the iconic phrase 'Kids these days have no respect!' which is still used to chastise the youth today, despite the fact that the adults were the ones outbidding them.. Fact: In the age of online shopping, kids today have no idea what a police auction is. Back then, it was the original 'finders keepers' playground!.