OCTOBER 21, 1933

Full News Archive

• Headline: Loney Haskell: A Theatre Legacy Remembered. Impact: Haskell's untimely demise sparked a secret underground theatre movement, leading to an influx of dramatic performances that eventually inspired a series of awful reality TV shows decades later. Who knew a cerebral hemorrhage could affect the Kardashians?. Fact: Did you know that vaudeville was basically the original variety show? Imagine what it would be like if the internet existed back then—cat videos of tap-dancing cats!.
• Headline: Pasadena Doctor Wins Nobel Prize. Impact: Morgan's work on chromosomes led to a chain reaction of genetic experimentation that eventually resulted in the creation of designer pets. Thanks to him, we now have poodles that look like unicorns and cats that fetch.. Fact: Did you know that Morgan's experiments involved fruit flies? So if your dating life is as exciting as fruit flies, you might want to rethink some choices..
• Headline: Soviet Joy Over U.S. Recognition. Impact: The Soviet Union's cautious optimism led to decades of espionage where they sought to outsmart the West, resulting in a world filled with Cold War spy films. Thanks to this headline, James Bond finally had a job.. Fact: Did you know that America sending aid during the famine was like giving a life jacket to a swimmer who just jumped into the shark tank? A kind gesture that came with a side of skepticism..
• Headline: PRESIDENTS SEND NOTES; Kalinin Agrees That the 'Anomalous Situation' Should Be Righted. HOLDS IT HAMPERS PEACE Roosevelt Calls Difficulties of Two Nations 'Serious but Not Insoluble.' FOUR ISSUES OUTSTANDING Propaganda, Kerensky Debt, Seized Property and Rights of Americans Are Problems. ROOSEVELT INVITES TALKS WITH SOVIET. Impact: This diplomatic back-and-forth laid the groundwork for international relations that would inspire countless pointless summits and a million flowcharts. Who knew that a few notes could lead to a lifetime of bureaucratic jargon?. Fact: Did you know that during this time, the term 'anomalous situation' was often used to describe anything from diplomatic disputes to really awkward family reunions?.
• Headline: Racketless Mexico.. Impact: The proclamation of a 'racketless' Mexico somehow led to an increase in organized crime in neighboring countries, creating a demand for drug lords who apparently were just waiting for a marketing opportunity.. Fact: Ironically, claiming to be 'racketless' is a bit like saying you’ve got a 'vitamin-free' diet while chowing down on gummy bears..
• Headline: Golf Title to Mrs. Jones.. Impact: Mrs. Jones' victory inspired a wave of women to take up golf, which eventually led to the development of the 'women's golf pants' industry. Thank you, Mrs. Jones, for those stylishly questionable choices!. Fact: Did you know that Mrs. Jones probably became the most famous Jones since the infamous 'Joneses' that everyone tried to keep up with?.
• Headline: FEDERAL ACTION AVERTS TUG STRIKE; Labor Department and Wagner Board Stand Ready to Mediate in Dispute. UNION DEFERS WALKOUT 3,500 Workers Instructed to Stay at Their Posts Pending Outcome of Negotiations.. Impact: The successful mediation led to a series of labor agreements that would later be cited in every negotiation as 'that one time when they actually talked it out instead of throwing chairs.' Thanks, tugboat workers!. Fact: Did you know that the term 'tug' in 'tugboat' actually means 'to pull'? In this case, it’s also fitting for how labor negotiations usually go—lots of pulling, but rarely any pushing through..
• Headline: Roosevelt-Kalinin Notes. Impact: These notes would later be classified, leading to a series of conspiracy theories that suggested they contained the secrets to intergalactic diplomacy. Spoiler alert: they didn't.. Fact: Did you know that communicating via notes was all the rage before texting? Imagine waiting weeks for a response instead of just being ghosted in seconds..
• Headline: Bull Enters a China Shop; Spares China and Queen. Impact: This bizarre incident sparked a trend of using 'bull in a china shop' as a metaphor for cluelessness, leading to countless awkward moments where people had no idea they were the bull.. Fact: Did you know that the actual queen was probably just there for the free samples? I mean, who doesn’t love a good china sale?.
• Headline: GEORGIA CONQUERS MERCER, 13 TO 12; Placement Kick by Grant Provides Margin -- Losers' Late Rally Falls Short.. Impact: This nail-biting game fueled a rivalry that would lead to decades of sportsmanship, tailgating, and a massive increase in the sales of nachos. Thank you, Georgia, for elevating snack culture!. Fact: Did you know that a game decided by just one point is basically the sports version of 'I almost won the lottery'? Close, but still no cigar..