SEPTEMBER 17, 1933

Full News Archive

• Headline: Worldwide Williams Congress in Brittany. Impact: This gathering led to a secret society of Williams who, over the years, became the ultimate name-dropper elite. Every time someone says 'William' in a crowded room, a butterfly flaps its wings in Brittany.. Fact: Fun fact: the only thing less attended than this congress is a meeting for people named 'John.'.
• Headline: Mass Conviction in Witchcraft Killings. Impact: This tragic event sparked a worldwide debate on witch hunts, leading to a surge in the popularity of witch-themed reality shows. Spoiler alert: they don't end well.. Fact: Witch hunts throughout history have typically been more about social control than actual sorcery. Who knew, right?.
• Headline: Murder Won't Wait Publication. Impact: The title inspired countless sequels in the murder mystery genre, each more absurd than the last, culminating in today's popular true crime podcasts where everyone is a 'detective.'. Fact: Apparently, murder has a punctuality problem. If only it could learn to schedule like the rest of us!.
• Headline: Betting Odds on O'Brien Decline to 2 to 1; He Won't Quit Race, Cannot Be Forced Out. Impact: This event led to a new gambling trend: betting on whether politicians will actually follow through on their promises. Spoiler: they don't.. Fact: The only thing more certain than O'Brien not quitting is my ability to forget where I parked my time machine..
• Headline: TRADE PRACTICE; Some Discussion of George M. Cohan's Remark That the Drama Has Become a Cult -- Notions About the Public. Impact: This comment sparked a dramatic shift in theatrical productions, leading to a rise in cult-themed plays that no one really wanted to see but felt obligated to attend.. Fact: Ironically, Cohan's own career was a cult classic—just not the kind they talk about in polite society..
• Headline: Colonies Of Ants; COLONY - POUNDING AMONG ANTS. By William Morton Wheeler. Illustrated. 170 pp. Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press. $2.. Impact: This book inspired a new genre of literature focused on ant colonies, leading to an unexpected rise in ant activism and the formation of 'Ants for Equality' groups.. Fact: Ants can lift objects 20 times their body weight, proving that even the smallest among us can carry the biggest burdens—like my existential dread..
• Headline: RETAIL TRADE DROP STRESSES NRA ROLE; Lower Sales Volume of Week Showed Need of Campaign to Raise Demand. HIGHER PRICES TO BE MET One Estimate Puts Present Level 30% Above Last Spring -- Loss Considered Temporary.. Impact: This realization led to the infamous 'Retail Therapy' movement, where shopping became the go-to cure for literally everything from heartbreak to existential crises.. Fact: NRA stands for National Recovery Administration, not the gun enthusiasts. Shocking, I know!.
• Headline: SUBSIDIZED WHEAT GOING TO FAR EAST; Seattle Official Says Most of Export Lot Will Be Sent Through Northwest Parts.. Impact: This grain trade decision led to the first-ever debate over gluten in the East, sparking a health craze that would dominate diets for the next century. Thanks, wheat!. Fact: Gluten wasn’t always a villain; it was once just the party guest everyone ignored. Now it’s the star of the dietary drama!.